Audi A8 Test Drive: Massage Seats and a Guilty Conscience

A car that should go on everyone’s bucket list, but if you’re thinking of getting a chauffeur, book away and read on.

When someone sends you a Toyota to fetch you to the airport and test-drive the new Audi A8, you know they’re going for contrast. A contrast that stays with you through the forty-minute ATR flight from Delhi to Jaipur, the forty minute ride in the new Q7 to the hotel and till the time you step behind the wheel of a black 4.2 lt New A8 the next morning.

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So you circle the car, fumble around, pop the trunk and make mental calculations – is the boot big enough to fit your co-passenger. It almost is, plus it even has some rear vents. Now if only you had remembered to wear your black suit and shave your head – Jason Statham and BMW would both eat their shorts!

We could tell you why we love the Audi A8 with its back seat massager, traction control, sunroof, clean lines and the fact that there is a button to control just about everything other than the sun visor – but that’s what Google or those car manuals would probably tell you as well.

So, here’s what you actually need to know about the A8 – it does 0-100 km ph 0.6 seconds faster than all other cars in its class including BMW that it replaced in The Transporter series. Ever seen an Elephant figure skate and win an Olympic 200 mt dash? The New A8 is a bit like that – it races and handles like a sports car but has the comfort of an ultra-luxury sedan. And if it’s still not on your bucket list, it should be – unless you want your girl on someone else’s list. The A8 is like that lucky jacket you’d love even if it didn’t fit so well, even if you hadn’t bought it on sale and didn’t find 50 rupee notes hidden in its pocket every time you wore it. Only unlike your jacket you will never get it on sale – ever and it fits like a glove. At a pop over 87 lacs ex-showroom, the A8 can never be accused of being affordable. Yet buying one and having a chauffeur drive you around in the back can and should be punishable by the guillotine. It’s not as if the back seat on the A8 isn’t comfortable. In fact with five massage settings in the backseat, it has pretty much everything you need to fall asleep – apart from the happy ending.

And that is where the A8 loses out. Here at FHM towers one of the core reasons behind getting a car, jacket, perfume and a razor is to get some. But with the A8, this is where you begin to feel guilty. With interiors so nice, you almost don’t want to bump uglies in the back. But then you see the front seat that electronically folds into a fetal position and boom – you’re back in the game. The Electronical Stability Programme that monitors speed, steering angle, throttle settings etc though is the star of the car and makes sure that you don’t go off the tarmac. The ABS is fun too just to make sure you don’t hit the Neel Gai you didn’t see coming lane when you were trying to get to 250.

Engine: 4.2 L Top speed: 250kmph 0-100kmph: 5.6 secs

Price: Starting at Rs 75 lacs

On sale: Now

From the February 2011 issue of FHM India.