FHM Versus: Bradley Wiggins

Can stylish olympic winner Bradley Wiggins beat his own bike on a chopper…

Usually when triple Olympic gold medallist Bradley Wiggins gets ready for a race, he’s decked out in fancy Lycra and sitting on a bike with electric gears and brakes that’s worth about Rs 1295000. Today, however, he’s wearing a three-piece mod suit, sunglasses and a pork pie hat astride a Raleigh Chopper worth Rs 17,895. Why? He’s not sure, to be honest. But we are. We’ve asked Bradley to embrace his mod side, so FHM can answer one of sport’s most important questions: what wins the race, man or machine?

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Is Jenson Button the Formula 1 champion because he’s the best driver, or because he had the best car? Did Team GB win all those cycling medals, because we were superior riders, or because we had superior bikes? Did Storm 2 win the third Robot Wars World Championship because of its built-in lifting arm, or because Ed Hoppitt knew how to work the bugger?

To give the 6ft 3in Wiggins some stiff competition, FHM squeezes into pro-Lycra (a process similar to a butcher feeding sausage meat into sausage skin), mounts a Pinarello bike worth about Rs 1,29,491 and lines up alongside him on a path in Regent’s Park in London – right next to the white painted words ‘NO CYCLING’.

“Probably just kids having a laugh,” we assure the Olympian, while anxiously scanning the vista for a parkie. Our assistant jogs to the ‘finish line’ (aka the other end of the path) and we make small talk. “To be honest, I’d expect to beat a novice, riding pretty much anything, over any decent distance,” shrugs the laid-back 30-year-old now leading Team Sky’s challenge in the Tour de France. He then points at a ladies bike with chunky wheels and a basket on the front. “Even if I was on that, I’d beat you.”

The starter (aka some bloke who happened to walk past) lowers his arm and… we’re off! Predictably, Wiggins gets a good start, whereas FHM’s right foot slips off its peddle, resulting in a saddle ball-crunch that would’ve hurt more if our cycling shorts weren’t padded.

We recover, focus, pedal, narrowly avoid a small child, sweat, gurn, bear down on Wiggins and his Chopper and… forget to look up, speed through the line and end up in a hedge. Did we take him? Of course, we didn’t. Mod 1 – (Now slightly bent) Machine 0.

Wiggins is backing Sky Ride 2010. For more visit to goskyride.com

From the August 2010 issue of FHM India.