Good Morning Sports Fans

Remember life before women in the commentary room? Watching fat, retired men drone on about off-side and on-side and long off and powerful drives off the back foot – times when cricket was simpler and longer, when teams were not owned by film-stars, cheerleaders existed only to be murdered in horror movies and 20 overs did not mean a whole inning.

Then five years ago, the Indian Premiere League was born and cricket, as we know it, changed. Over the last five years, IPL has seen some pretty sexy presenters – from Sonali Nagrani to Miss Noodle Strap Mandira Bedi, the hot as hell Lekha Washington, the cute despite her undecipherable accent Shibani Dandekar and Archana Vijaya who really does look hotter than anyone’s business in a bikini. These ladies travel all over India to ensure that each time your attention waivers from cricket, you have one of them to listen/look at (depending on varying levels of their cricket knowledge and accents) for 56 days.

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If you’ve seen Karishma Kotak you would know she has the sexy part covered (you would have to be living under a stone if you didn’t see her at least once spending 80 days doing hare-brained tasks while being spied on by hidden cameras); and she has been catching up on her cricket to ensure you hear her as well.

Even then, she’s a little bit paranoid about mixing up names of cricketers. “We don’t have to be too technical about cricket. Everyone knows Extraa Innings is all about entertainment.” But if you’re lucky enough to be invited to her flat (it’s actually a cottage in Bandra overlooking a garden) you will always find cricket playing in the background.

“I picked this up at home in London. No matter what was happening – there would always be cricket playing in the background, so my brother and I started following it from an early age,” she explains.

Unlike some of the other ladies, Karishma Kotak is a proper sports freak – she grew up loving football and playing an old-British game that was never taken seriously – Rounders. “But it was basketball that I was good at, oh and swimming. But I’m not the sort who’d just vegetate and splash around in a pool. I’m really good at it – especially at breast and butterfly stroke.” We snigger. In times where curvy figures have become a casualty of the size-zero trend, Karishma Kotak is very clearly holding her own.

We ask her if she’s concerned about getting hit on – considering she will be trapped in a testosterone bubble for 56 days with men around her outnumbering her 10 to 1. “You will have to ask me after IPL if I get hit on or not. Even if they do, I can take care of myself, I’ve been living in Mumbai, haven’t I?”

This is also just about the perfect opening for us. So is she single? There is a pause. The kind most women take when they’re wondering whether to tell a man she is single or not. “I’m getting to know someone.” But 56 days and 40 flights surrounded by athletic cricketers is a long time away. “What rubbish... it’s not that long... is it? Plus, I’m only travelling in India, so it’s not that difficult if someone wants to make an effort.”

Ms Kotak is one of those girls who have a knack for taking on assignments that make her unavailable, often for months. First, she spent 80 days s pouting in front of cameras in Bigg Boss, now IPL and then she’s off in July-August on a vacation to London, Greece and Morocco with her friends. So approach her only if you aren’t scared of ending up with a girl who’ll give you a lot more space than you could have ever imagined.

As far as women go – she has travelled. “But I still have a lot of places left I want to go to... Marrakesh, Mikonos, Morocco, but above everything else, South America.” “When you grow up in Europe – travelling is the most normal thing to do because everywhere is just a two-hour flight away.”

We almost want to tell her how many of our Europe plans have crashed and burnt because the passport didn’t arrive – for the sake of some sympathy, but we don’t. Not because we’ve grown to be a better human being, but because we can’t find a break in the conversation to get a word in. In that sense she has the perfect makings of a sports presenter – she talks a lot.

Ms Kotak studied in an all-girl convent school, but you can’t tell from this shoot, can you? And who does she think are hotter – pilots of astronauts? “Pilots are hottt. But Astronauts are hotter.”

She also likes Spanish men because they are ‘family men’ like Indian men, plus are quite attractive. “I don’t like Italian men, they’re sort of sing songy.” But who stares the most on a beach? “I think all men stare no matter what country, they at least have a sneak peek even if they don’t stare.” So would women like it better if we didn’t? “It’s okay, but be a little less obvious next time?”

The conversation has predictably ended up on bikinis. Will you be the one on the beach wearing jeans or a dental-floss bikini? “I won’t dress like an aunty, but I’ll be the one wearing denim hotpants and a tiny bikini reading a book.”

“I don’t have any particular problems with a bikini... I did do the Kingfisher calendar, but come to think of it, I got away without wearing a bikini in that,” she laughs. “Even I don’t know how I managed that!” She is technically right. She wore swimsuits and cut-outs. Which is an abject shame, as she would look fabulous in one.

But you’ll just have to wait for a director to come up with a good script in which she just happens to be in a bikini. What about dancing in a choli-ghagra like many of her contemporaries? “That’s not who I am. I would rather stick to modelling and anchoring shows.”

Incidentally, she is also obsessively stuck up on cinema and watches every movie, no matter how bad the review. “I have watched some pretty weird movies like Love Story 2050. I even love the late night ads on TV for slimming tea... ‘Pehley main 100 kilo ki thi... slimming tea key baad ab main 15 kilo ki hoon’ she mimics.” She’s talking about the ad on late night TV where a girl in a black bikini is interviewing a doctor.

So if she’s up so late – does she wake up cranky in the morning? “I’m a morning person, I wake up excited and don’t want to bum about in bed, but I don’t like rushing out either. I like to take my time with my coffee.” Is she any good in the kitchen? “Actually I’m a better baker than a chef. I do fabulous lasagne, cannelloni...you should try it sometime, but breakfast is usually egg white omelettes or oats.”

We make a mental note to get back to her after 56 days – IPL finishes off on her birthday (May 26th). Who’d she put her money on though? “Shush... I can’t put my money on any one. Let me at least start hosting IPL, don’t try to get me fired right away!”

IPL Predictions

KKR – I love them, but I’m partial towards Mumbai Indians.

MI – Ricky Ponting might make the difference this year.

BC – I think with Virat Kohli as captain, they will be a different outfit this season.

Chennai – They have had a damn good run, but even then I would say Mumbai Indians this time.

There are a lot of new players, old players who’ve been swapped and captains who have been changed, so this season should be particularly exciting.

From the April 2013 issue of FHM India.