Harsha Bhogle: “Administrators don’t control the game, they nurture it”

Harsha Bhogle on the autobiography he would write, staying a social media sweetheart, what he would change at the BCCI, the match he would replay and his wish to write like Gulzar.

By Sudhakar Jha · Feb 2017 · 10 min read

Harsha Bhogle: “Administrators don’t control the game, they nurture it”

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Harsha Bhogle tells us about his worst fears, what it is that makes him a social media sweetheart and his wish to write like Gulzar saab...

If you decide to write your autobiography, what would be the name of the book?

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Anita came up with one for my collection of articles and suggested, ‘Out of The Box’ and it was just so appropriate whichever way you looked at it. Should have kept it for the autobiography! Or maybe ‘The Outsider’ because that is what I have been in my profession all my life! Never been part of any club, so had to find my way around. It impacted me hugely as a person. Yes, maybe that as of now but I hope I can come up with a better name because that isn’t a reflection of a hugely fulfilling family life.

An autobiography that disappointed you the most... And why?

I switched off autobiographies a few years ago. I found them devoid of the passion that created memorable moments on the field. Maybe sportsmen have the deeds, not the words to describe them! Armstrong and Agassi were nice because they chose good partners to write them. Melody often comes from a composer and a performer working together. Singers routinely make poor composers so maybe it is about knowing what you are good at and respecting what others can do! Actually, I must start reading a few again... had got put off a bit.

At a time when trolling on anything and everything is in fashion, you are one of the few people on the internet who hasn’t faced much flak. How do you manage to be such a sweetheart?

Interesting choice of words! I get my share, certainly some of it has been much discussed in the public domain!

Maybe because I see sport differently and people relate to that. Maybe they see me as a simple guy who stayed that way (largely I guess!). Maybe because it is not in my nature to be confrontational and I’m okay with people’s opinions. Maybe they realise that it is a waste of time to be rude to me. I still believe in the old line about not agreeing with people but accepting their right to have an opinion. But yes, I have met more people who have been nice to me than those who have been nasty.

Also remember, on Twitter, the guys who abuse you are hoping to provoke you. By getting angry, you are giving them what they want. By ignoring them, you are taking away their power, making them feel irrelevant and hence miserable. So ignore them, just assume they are sad people!

I think I am a person everyone believes he can be (often should have been!) compared to all these other famous people who intimidate people with their ability and live in a different orbit and are people others cannot be.

If you are elected as the BCCI President, what would be your first decision as the chief?

Take out the word ‘Control’, the second ‘C’ in it. It is at the root of all problems. Administrators don’t control the game, they look after it, they nurture it. Our sport, all sports, in fact, need benevolent parents. And then, I would do many other things. Many.

One team that you wished you played for.

India. Without a doubt. But I must confess, playing for the country was never a dream when I was growing up. I loved playing cricket dearly, I looked forward to my games like a kid would to a piece of cake. I remember some of the shots I played thirty five years ago but even more than that I remember the catches I took and the times I hit the stumps directly. I loved fielding because nobody could stop me from being good. As a batsman, a bowler could get me out, as a leg spinner, a batsman could score runs off me. But as a fielder, it was me and the ball and nobody could come in the way. I found it a thrilling challenge. I could write a chapter on fielding alone.

If you could go back in time and change the result of a cricket match, which one would it be?

Two inter-college finals I played in. Both times we came close against Nizam College, a team that had superior ‘sports quota’ players in it. Both times, we came back from far behind. Once I played a poor shot, and once ran out of partners. Both taught me a lot about the game and about how it should be played. I was angry one day and in tears the other but it taught me that sport is as much about technique and effort as it is about emotion.

In international cricket, the Chennai Test against Pakistan in 1999. Tendulkar played an astonishing innings. The backdrop to the game was important, the setting and the emotion difficult to describe and the drama was unforgettable for a sports lover. But then, because India lost, I got to see something I have never seen before or after. An Indian crowd applauding a victory lap from Pakistan. It told me what sport is; that you try your hardest, you support the home team and in the end you applaud the team that plays better because it is only a sport.

If you knew you had just one day to live, how would you choose to spend it?

With family. Remembering the good times and being grateful.

Who’d you really like to just punch in the face? And why?

I can’t stand people who are pompous, who are rude and who throw their weight around. There are a few but thinking about them would make me angry and them important, so it is not worth it!

If you could be a superhero which one would you be and why?

I don’t know really, my life has been too real, too rooted. I would rather be a real person who did extraordinary things.

How about a superpower you wish you had…

Ah, now this is different. I guess the ability to read minds; to know exactly what a person is thinking about, irrespective of what he/she is saying to me. Far too many people are superficial or devious and it would be fun to see through them.

What’s something you’re bad at and wished you weren’t?

Singing. My fantasy is writing my own songs and going around the world singing them. To be able to hit the note you want is a kind of freedom I would have loved to have; like a bird in flight or a long distance runner at the 10k mark floating along. When the voice soars it must be like that. You control your limit and no one can stop you. That is the kind of excellence I wish I could have possessed.

If you could choose to be born in any period of history you like, what would it be?

Maybe about 1990 or even a couple of years earlier so that I could be part of a generation that is going to change the way everyone looks at India. If only we can control corruption, if we can build infrastructure, India will be unstoppable. And yes, if we can get honest politicians. I love the confidence and the vision of this generation and we just need to show the way and get out of it.

I guess the disadvantage would be that the world of television now lives under the misconception that you needed to have played the game at the highest level to be able to talk about it and I wouldn’t even have got a single first-class game and you wouldn’t be asking me to do this!

What is something that you’ve always wanted to try but have been too scared to?

Jumping off a plane. My son did it sometime back and he told me what others have too; that it is an unbelievable experience. I loved the fact that he did it because I don’t have the courage to. I’ve held myself back too much in life.

If you could ask God one question, what would it be?

Why do we have war? Of all the brutalities of life, this is the worst. Proud, strapping young men having their lives taken away, for what? Nobody benefits from war, it is a giant sized ego manifesting itself. How much time we waste over Pakistan! How much money we spend! How many lives we lose! For what!

Khudaa-e-bartar teri zameen par zameen ki khaatir, yeh jang kyon hai? Har ek fatah-o-zafar ke daaman pe khuun-e-insaan kaa rang kyon hai? (Oh superior lord, on your land, why is there a war for land? Why is all success, all glory coloured by the blood of the common man). How I wish I could write like Sahir or like Gulzar. Or even like Prasoon. There is a big part of me still wanting to prove myself in Hindi/Urdu.

Hard choices: would you rather...?

…be an inconsequential part of the World Cup winning team or captain of the losing team?

Easy. Be a part of a World Cup winning team. If I am in the eleven, I’m not inconsequential.

…have no taste buds or see things black and white?

I adore black and white pictures and one of my ambitions is to get a portrait done in black and white; there is something haunting and romantic about it. But I would much rather see the world in all its colour. It must be terrible not to be able to taste many things but I think it might be easier to live with it.

…experience the beginning or the end of the earth?

Beginning. The idea of the end of the earth is macabre. Would I rather be born or die?

…have no one show up to your wedding or your funeral?

The only reason I would want people to come to my funeral is for my children to think their father was liked. Beyond that, it doesn’t really matter. If no one showed up to my wedding, I’d know, in my lifetime, that I wasn’t liked. But of all the bad things that could happen to people, no one showing up to a wedding is very minor.

…be able to talk your way out of any situation or punch your way out of it?

Talk my way out of it, hopefully, without lying.

…have a birth mark covering half of your face or have a foot-long tail?

I guess today you could do away with either in the hands of a good surgeon! But since you insist I choose... I’d rather have the birth mark covering half my face.

…be in jail for 10 years or be in coma for 20 years?

In coma for 20 years, because it would probably be the result of something I had no control over. Jail for 10 years, unless I was framed, would mean I had done something horrible to people and I would be ashamed.

…live in space or under the sea?

I don’t know… Under the sea maybe.

…be forgotten or remembered with hate?

Easy again. Forgotten. In any case, almost all of us get forgotten pretty quickly. We like to believe otherwise but it doesn’t take too long.

…be the PM or the President?

Neither actually. Either would take my joy away because it would prevent me from living in peace.

…be half your height or double your weight?

This is some serious personality profiling! I don’t know. Maybe double my weight because with a bit of luck and help, I could lose it, but I couldn’t grow. But being short doesn’t take away intellect. On a lighter note, I often tell short people that life is about stature, not height!

…have a pause button or a rewind button in your life?

Pause. Rewind seems the right thing to say because you could correct things but I don’t believe it would work that way. Yes, I would have done some things differently in retrospect but who knows what the by-product of that would have been. I am actually searching for a pause in life but haven’t yet had the courage to go out and do it. Maybe I will have only one!

…share your office cabin with a nosy colleague or a noisy one?

Noisy. That would make two of us. I am used to living with noise around me and at work where the producer in my ear and the guest alongside me and the speakers in the stadium and the crackers are all going off at the same time and I am trying to stick to a rundown!

…be gossiped about or never talked about at all?

Gossiped about. It wouldn’t matter to me what they were saying but that they felt the need to say it means I have impacted their life in some form!