Katrina Kaif: FHM’s Sexiest Woman in the World 2013

Bona fide A-list megastar, with no less than two major movies hitting cinemas next year. But fuck all that, because far more importantly, you lot have just voted her FHM’s Sexiest Woman in the World 2013!

“That’s all nonsense, where do you come up with all this?” We’ve been trying to get Miss Kaif to verify a theory made famous by How I Met Your Mother and about four-dozen other movies – ‘Do women get vulnerable at other people’s weddings?’ You see Miss Kaif has just returned from her sister’s wedding in London, where she was a bridesmaid – only this time, there were no frumpy dresses and no Barney-esque scoping.

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But the matter at hand is something a little more alarming – Miss Kaif has been crowned World’s Sexiest Woman for her third successive year – that makes it fifth times out of the six times that we at FHM India have been running the contest. You know people say we’re fixing the contest right? “I have worked hard over the last year, but are you (fixing it)?” We tell her we aren’t. And that’s when our agenda for the day is decided – we spend it scrutinising, re-tallying and looking into our website’s backend to show the winner of our 100 Sexiest Poll that she is indeed the real winner. Well, rechecking the backend was our plan, Katrina said no. That’s the thing about Katrina, she is a lot of things but she isn’t insecure. She doesn’t want to know who she’s beaten by how many cyber votes. She’s just happy she won. She does hide the excitement quite well though. “I don’t think I’d be winning in 5 years…” she broods. “Who knows how polls work? Some years you win, some years you don’t… but it should never be fixed.” It’s that nonchalant charm that makes you want to stick your hand up and tell her you have all the answers. In 2009, when she first landed on to the list, it was her role in Race. In 2011 it was her riding a bullet while chasing Hrithik in Zindagi Na… and her outing as Sheila. In 2012, it was her Chikni Chameli jig while in 2013 it was her salwar kameez clad avatar in Ek Tha Tiger, Mashallah and Ishq Shava. We don’t tell her this, but we don’t need to, because she already knows. And at times when she’s not conscious or being diplomatic, she lets it slip that she’s confident about winning in 2014 as well. “Just go to the lingerie section or a Selfridges next time you are travelling and buy 10 corsets for next year’s shoot,” she advises while going through the clothes, which have been sourced for her for this year’s FHM cover shoot.

There are two different sides to Katrina. The vitriol that has been spewed about her in the media of late has ensured that she is almost two different people – before and after a notepad comes out. The latest of late were a bunch of pictures that emerged of her and purported lover Ranbir Kapoor on a beach in Spain. Miss Kaif, enraged and hurt in equal amounts at the time, issued an open letter to the media panning them for their behaviour. Her pictures became such a huge national issue that even the ladies who she’s supposedly sparring with over movie offers have been asked to comment on her holiday pictures in print. “Holidays are a private affair. Also, if you are on the beach, what else will you wear if not a bikini?” Kareena Kapoor said in an interview. Miss Kaif herself has sworn off bikinis since. Katrina thinks it’s time to drop the issue now. We ask her if she ever felt like catching hold of a paparazzo and giving them a piece of her mind or emulate the time Scarlett Johansson held up a sign that said ‘THE PERSON TAKING THIS PICTURE IS HARASSING ME’. “Nah!” she says dismissing it. “You live, you learn and you move on… I know it’s the paparazzi’s job to take pictures, but at the same time, it would be nice if we could maintain boundaries. I think I also got too riled up, but I won’t again.”

So on to the other thing that has generated as much, if not more, interest than the Rupee’s unabashed free fall and the food security bill – Miss Kaif’s relationship status. ‘So you do continue to be single?’ She laughs. “Unless specified otherwise,” she laughs again. “How about talking about my work and movies instead? When a time comes and it changes, it changes. In matters of the heart, no one knows… Finding true love is the most beautiful feeling on the face of the Earth.” She then proceeds to quiz us about our relationship status – questions we avoid with the deftness of Road Runner and the flexibility of Neo.

“This year has been interesting – two of my movies got delayed, so suddenly I had a 9-10 month gap between releases.” But Miss Kaif hasn’t spent the time twiddling her thumbs or watching DVDs (she has been hooked on to House of Cards and The Killing though). She’s been working and then some more, and has also traded in her 3 litre Audi Q7 for a 4.2 litre Audi Q7, which she loves. “There was something wrong in the older one and they wanted me to change to this.” ‘So they gave you a new Q7? “Of course not, I paid for it! Why would they give it to me for free.” Does she drive herself? “Very rarely and only when the driver doesn’t turn up. Once I drove to Yashraj from my house and it was terrifying – both for me and for people on the road.”

“Now four of my movies will be on floors at the same time, which is going to be hectic.” So does she ever mix up lines at times such as these – profess undying love in a scene that requires her to jimmy a safe and all that. “No. Thank god! We do read scripts you know.” Even then, at the shoot she is worrying about whether an angle is unflattering or not. Katrina Kaif is in the best shape of her life. You could cut cheese (if she’ll let you) on her flat stomach and her body fat percentage is less than the GDP growth rate. “I think I was in the best shape of my life a couple of months ago, I’ve kind of let myself go now.” Miss Kaif apart from being just a tad bit deluded now returns to complete the last schedule for Dhoom 3 – a movie she stars in opposite a gent more than a couple of inches her junior, Aamir Khan. A movie in which she’s battered and bruised and still going on and on to do scenes that require her to descend and ascend wearing harnesses. “The harnesses were more painful than the training because the rope really burns,” she confessed. ‘What about the songs?’ “Of course there are songs in Dhoom 3, it’s a Hindi movie isn’t it?” ‘As in your songs?’ “Yes, songs based on Aamir and me.” ‘Item songs?’ “Uff! Is that all this is about? No, they aren’t item songs but you’d love them.”

Satisfied with those answers, and an omelette sandwich and mutton curry later (she eats hers with bread and it comes from her house, while our sandwich from the Mehboob Studio canteen) the conversation has moved on to movies, more specifically her movies. “I think it’s very hard to watch yourself on screen.” We agree. Most artists have trouble looking at their work after its been produced, most editors don’t want to read their magazines after the issue is out either. Even though the last one is more out of fear of spotting typos. Regardless, is there one particular movie that springs to mind? The director of Boom has been giving interviews saying he wants to work with her (he’s currently working with Sunny Leone though). “I would definitely not want to watch Boom,” she smiles sensing the movie we are making wink, wink, nudge, nudge not-too-veiled references to.

Our interview was done somewhere between Mumbai and London since she’s about to get on a plane in a bit to head back home. “I love planes…you can’t play with your phone and there are no distractions…just peace.” And that is when it begins to sink in – Katrina Kaif, India’s sexiest and biggest star leads a tough life, even as she consults with her sisters on the picture shortlist for this shoot and has doubts about whether she is looking good in the pictures. And it’s at these times that Katrina is at her most endearing. Not in Mashallah or Sheila… or even Chikni Chameli. They do sweeten the deal though.

Katrina Kaif’s history of hits on YouTube

• Tees Maar Khan (2010): Sheila Ki Jawani rocks the nation with Katrina’s belly dancing moves. Youtube Hits: 19.6 Million
• Agneepath (2012): Chikni Chameli stands out as another one of her electrifying performances in choli and ghaghra. Youtube Hits: 23.1 Million
• Ek Tha Tiger (2012): Katrina oomphs the nation yet again with her sizzling belly dancing moves in Mashallah. Youtube Hits: 19.6 Million
• Race (2008): Katrina looks a complete stunner as she turns up the heat in the song Zara Zara Touch Me. Youtube Hits: 2.8 Million

From the September 2013 issue of FHM India.