Learn how to do it yourself

Get some solid man skills and transform yourself into a home-making genius…

Scott Stannard is a furniture maker and the DIY guy at The Goodlife Centre in central London where he teaches hapless handymen the ways of the workshop. Here’s Scott’s 101 guide to turning yourself into a tooled up tinkerer…

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01 Pack out your toolbox

“You don’t need to buy everything at once, but you do need the basics. Start by getting yourself a decent set of screwdrivers in different sizes and types, an adjustable spanner, claw hammer, tape measure, a drill and most importantly, a pencil. The drill will be your biggest expense but you should think of it as an investment. Once you have these in your toolbox you’re pretty much set to fix anything.”

02 Don’t break the bank

“Kitting yourself out with a top-flight tool kit might seem like it’s going to be expensive but it doesn’t have to be. The price of tools only ever comes down and you can get loads of bargains with second hand stuff if you know what you’re looking for. As long as you keep them in good nick and look after them properly, most tools will last you an entire lifetime.”

03 Hammer time

“It’s easy to assume that a hammer is just a hammer but if you get a decent one it’ll save you a lot of agro in the long run. It’s definitely worth forking out if you can afford to. The expense of it comes in the handle, which takes the shock out of hitting something for a long time. An expensive hammer is designed so that if you wanted to, you could use it all day and you won’t have an achy hand afterwards.”

04 Follow the right line

“Everything goes in a straight line and nothing meanders. If a socket is on the floor, the cables will go down. Switches on the wall? The cables will go into the ceiling. Know all of these basics so you don’t do something stupid like hanging a picture above a light switch.”

05 Get a good catalogue

“Most shops have brilliant catalogues that you can use like a big encyclopedic DIY glossary of terms. It can be daunting walking into a shop when you don’t know what everything is, but even the pros don’t know what absolutely everything is called. Use the catalogues to find out anything they don’t know.”

06 Save the best until last

“Whenever anybody does up their house they always start with the room that they like best, which invariably always ends up looking the worst. By the time you’ve done the last room you’ve had a bit of a practice and tend to do a better job. Build yourself up to the thing you really want to achieve. By the time you get there, you’ll be amazed at the difference.”

07 Know your limits

“The rule to remember is ‘like for like’. You can replace something like a plug socket but you can’t move it somewhere else without it being signed off by a qualified electrician. Anything gas related needs to be done by a Corgi registered gasman. Even if you know how to do it yourself it’ll still need to be signed off by a professional. It sounds like a ball ache but this is what stops you from drilling through a wall and electrocuting yourself.”

08 Reap the rewards

“I read that statistically, the most rewarding job out there is being a hairdresser. You’ve got someone being creative, quickly, with immediate gratification and payment. DIY should be up there in the same way, the only difference is that it can take slightly longer but it’s every bit as rewarding. There’s a lot to be said of the way that you sleep after doing a day of hard labour.”

Are you a DIY disaster waiting to happen?

• Step one of fixing something is calling your dad.
• You think a spirit level is a Skyrim reference.
• All of your tools come from Christmas crackers.
• Hammer time is just a really dated song.
• If someone asked for a Phillips screwdriver, you’d ask: “Who’s Phillip?”
• The last thing you built was made of Lego.
• You’ve googled ‘How to hit a nail properly’.
• You’re intimidated by men in DIY shops.
• You don’t own a screwdriver but you have the ingredients to make one in your fridge.
• IKEA furniture is like solving a Rubik’s Cube.

Score 1-3: You could do with some help, but Handy Andy would be proud.

Score 4-7: You’re not incompetent but you are dangerous.

Score 8-10: Your hands are soft and you’re useless.

From the March 2015 issue of FHM India.