Porsche 911: The Sexiest Vehicle Ever Made

This year the 911, Porsche’s most famous – and most polarising – model turns 50. Now more than ever, it’s a car that you need in your life.

No vehicle on Earth elicits an instinctive, emotional response quite like the Porsche 911. Mention the car to a roomful of guys and the reactions will vary from awe to hatred. No apathy, no “meh”s; this is a motor that was designed to induce a strong feeling, one way or the other.

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If you love the 911, you don’t need to give a reason why. It’s a no-brainer. If you hate the 911, you hate it because, deep down, you want it. You might sneer at it and brand it a car for chubby bank managers, but really you know it’s a car behind whose wheel you’d like to sit.

For 50 years now, it has locked its eyes on the horizon and dropped the pedal; it has sought the perfect racing line round the perfect corner and done it all while looking like a frog who’s been stepped on. Yes, it looks weird, but the 911 carries itself with poise and purpose. It is a car in pursuit of perfection. It may be impossible to achieve, but by God, it’ll rack up some speeding fines trying.

Those seeking the very best in life – the perfect balance, the perfect package – have always gravitated to the 911. While plenty of sports cars radiate excess and drama, the 911 is not about overstatement. Legendary actor and racing driver Steve McQueen drove a 911. This should tell you all you need to know. The fact is, no man’s life is complete without some time in this automotive legend.

A revolution

The 911’s unique destiny came from being born in a time of revolution. In 1963 The Beatles recorded their debut album, JFK was assassinated, Martin Luther King gave his “I have a dream…” speech and the first James Bond film hit the screens in the US. Meanwhile, in Germany, a car company called Porsche unveiled a new sports car that would change the world. At the ’63 Frankfurt Motor Show, the new car immediately snapped heads, promising 128bhp and 131mph. Today a Renault Clio 1.6 will do those numbers, but at the time it was a proper jaw-drop.

Since 1963, around 820,000 911s have found homes with grateful owners. That’s an amazing stat in a sports-car world where a new Ferrari will do a couple of hundred if it’s a really big seller and Lamborghini’s latest ridiculous model will see just three made.

The 911 has been everywhere and done everything. It’s raced at Le Mans, been rallying in the ’80s, set speed records and padded around Hollywood ferrying movie stars to the dry-cleaners. It’s spawned turbo models, drop-top models, 4x4 models and hardcore racing versions. It’s evolved at every stage to go from the super-fast VW Beetle of its birth to the muscled tarmac god it is today.

Against all odds

The 911 deserves your respect because it is, apart from anything else, a triumph of sheer bloody-mindedness. The key thing that marks the 911 out from pretty much every other sports car is this: the engine is in completely the wrong place.

For most cars, the engine goes at the front. Doing this puts the engine’s weight in front of the driver and over the wheels that are steering, so it helps the car’s handling. If you’re designing a sports car from scratch, you’d generally look to put the engine in the middle of the car. What you absolutely do not do, under any circumstances, is hang the engine out the back of the car. Yes, it means the weight is generally over the driven wheels so you get more oomph, but you’ve just given yourself a massive problem – try going round a corner in your sports car now you have a lump of metal hanging out the back of it. You’re in a permanent wrestling match with the laws of physics. And yet on the 911, the engine hangs out the back.

It’s insane. And sure enough, early 911s had a reputation for spending more time flying through hedges than they did on the road. But it’s a testament to the brutal will of German engineers that they quickly made it work, unveiling cars stabilised to the point where they drove beautifully, embarrassing other motors. 911s may have started from the wrong place but they’ve made it incredibly right.

Over the past half a century, Porsche planned to kill off the 911 many times but somehow it’s always survived, as if guided by the hand of God. So FHM says hats off to the German legend. The Porsche 911 represents the very essence of man. We’ll take ours in black, thanks.

Celebs in 911s

• Steve McQueen: The actor drove a 1969 911S, which is a combination so cool that the universe may fold in on itself. The beautiful slate-grey machine sold at auction in California in 2011 for £823,800, a record for a 911.
• Arnold Schwarzenegger: The Governator is devoted to his silver 911 Turbo Cabriolet with burgundy leather interior.
• David Beckham: Becks drove a 2008 911 Turbo for three years. He had it fitted with “23” stitching on the seats, bespoke “23” logos on the wheels and bonnet, and matte-black paint and phat speakers. Nice.
• Jason Statham: What 911 could any action hero drive other than a 911 GT2? The stripped-back road-legal race car 911 is utterly hardcore. Just like Jason.
• Tom Cruise: Tom drove a black 911 993 for many years and in 1983’s Risky Business famously purred, “Porsche – there is no substitute.”
• Jerry Seinfeld: The comedian loves Porsches. Like, really loves them. He owns a string of 911s and more, all garaged up in the mountains above Hollywood.

How to speak 911

• 901: The original name of the car at launch. However, Peugeot claimed the rights to the name in France, so Porsche changed it to 911 everywhere to avoid a court case.
• Air-cooled vs water-cooled: 911 engines were famously air-cooled by fans, which gave them a raspy engine note. The 996 model in 1998 changed to more modern water cooling.
• Turbo: First introduced in 1974, the 911 Turbo featured fatter wheel arches and a massive spoiler. 911 Turbos remain special things and arguably one of the greatest achievements of the human race.
• Slant-nose: Rare 911 Turbos from the ’80s that dispensed with the frog-eyed headlights for a more traditional supercar pointed nose. Very Miami Vice.
• Carrera: A unique Porsche term for a more racing-focused car. Named after Porsche’s success in the Mexican Carrera Panamericana races in the 1950s.
• Ducktail: A tiny flick up of a rear spoiler that sat on the back of some early 911s. First introduced on the Carrera RS 911 in 1973, it reappeared on the 997 Sport Classic 911 in 2009.
• Whale tail: A big flat spoiler introduced on the back of some 1980s 911s. Not to be confused with a…
• Tea-tray spoiler: Like a whale tail but with raised edges around the sides as well as the back. If you were a yuppie in the ’80s, this is what you wanted.

Porsche’s greatest hits

Those Porsche chaps in Stuttgart know a thing or two about sports cars. From the late ’50s right up to today, they’ve been making beautifully crafted and occasionally unhinged fast motors that push the boundaries of automotive engineering and – more importantly – look cool doing it. There have been far too many variations of Porsche cars over the years to be able to list them all, but these are FHM’s favourites. When you finally land that One Crore win, this is your shopping list for the ultimate FHM Porsche garage.

Origin of the species – 356 (1948-1965): The first Porsche arrived in 1948 and was a little revolution. Styled with art deco curves, the 356 was created by the man responsible for the VW Beetle, but Porsche swiftly made the car all its own. Replaced by the 911. Number built: 77,776. Price at launch: ₹1,54,728. Value now: ₹67,20,000 for a mint one. Engine: rear-mounted, air-cooled 1.5 litre flat four, 60 bhp. 0-60: 15.3 sec; top: 105 mph. What it says about you: Who needs speed when you can arrive in timeless style?

The mutant – Porsche 914 (1969-1976): When is a Porsche not a Porsche? When it’s a collaboration with VW. This fun little two-seater is a sports car of the old-school British style and a very odd-looking thing for a Porsche. Number built: 118,978. Price at launch: ₹2,91,900. Value now: ₹8,40,000. Engine: mid-engined, air-cooled 1.7 litre flat four, 80 bhp. 0-60: 12.8 sec; top: 110 mph.

O.M.G. – 959 (1987-1988): Created as a rally car with a road-going spin-off, the 959 was considered the most advanced car of its day. Essentially a 911 on steroids, the subtle curves of the original were carved into brutal square haunches. It went like stink and a version even competed in the Paris-Dakar Rally. Number built: 329. Price at launch: ₹1,30,42,344. Value now: ₹4,03,20,000. Engine: rear-mounted, twin-turbocharged 2.8 litre flat six, 450 bhp. 0-60: 3.7 sec; top: 196 mph. What it says about you: You have exquisite taste. Well done, sir.

Mr Perfect – 944 (1989-1993): Built as a replacement for the rather “meh” 924, the 944 was powerful, modern, luxurious and is still staggeringly handsome to look at. It was revised many times but the S2 and Turbo S models are prized. Number built: 16,332. Price at launch: ₹26,29,536. Value now: ₹3,36,000+. Engine: front-engined 3.0 litre in-line four, 211 bhp. 0-60: 6.9 sec; top: 149 mph. What it says about you: You’re a practical man and comfortable with a bit of ’80s retro cool.

Who’s the daddy? – Cayenne Turbo S (2012-now): Loathed by the Porsche faithful when it arrived, the Cayenne has finally established itself as one of the greatest 4X4s in the world. Selling more than the rest of the range combined, this was the car that saved Porsche. Price now: ₹90,26,640. Engine: front-engined 4.8 litre twin-turbo V8, 550 bhp. 0-60: 4.3 sec; top: 175 mph.

The 911 killer that didn’t – 928 (1978-1995): This was the car that was supposed to replace the 911; in the mid-’80s, Porsche planned to bet their future on this more conventional front-engined car. While the 928 was brilliant, sanity prevailed and the 911 lived on. Number built: 61,056. Price at launch: ₹47,61,960. Value now: ₹13,44,000. Engine: front-engined 5.0 litre, 48-valve V8, 320 bhp. 0-60: 5.5 sec; top: 168 mph.

Hypercar madness – Carrera GT (2004-2006): Only ever intended to be a showpiece, the passion for this Le Mans-inspired motor (and a new chunk of cash from the popular Cayenne) saw this incredible car launched into the world. Brain-scramblingly fast. Number built: 1,270. Price at launch: ₹3,34,32,000. Value now: ₹2,35,20,000+. Engine: mid-mounted 5.7 litre V10, 612 bhp. 0-60: 3.7 sec; top: 205 mph.

Scare yourself stupid – 911 GT3 RS: A GT3 is a 911 with the frills taken out – sound insulation, rear seats, aircon, etc. The RS version goes further with racing gear, carbon fibre and more oomph. It’s ridiculously fast, utterly raw and sounds incredible. Number built: 200. Price at launch: ₹70,75,320. Value now: ₹50,40,000+. Engine: rear-mounted 3.6 litre flat six, 380 bhp. 0-60: 3.7 sec; top: 190 mph.

Small is beautiful – Boxster Spyder (2010): A nod to the stripped-back little Porsche sports cars of the ’60s, the Boxster was the Porsche that enthusiasts had been crying out for. This limited lightweight Spyder variant reeks of cool. Number built: 1,944. Price at launch: ₹38,96,508. Engine: mid-mounted 3.4 litre flat six, 320 bhp. 0-60: 4.9 sec; top: 166 mph. What it says about you: That you really, really want to be James Dean.

Who ate all the pies? – Panamera Turbo S (2009-now): The Panamera might look like the 911’s fat dad but it can take four people, house them in total luxury and transport them like they’re on a bullet train. Price now: ₹1,03,97,184. Engine: front-engined 4.8 litre twin-turbo V8, 550 bhp. 0-60: 3.6 sec; top: 190 mph.

The sports car perfected – Cayman S (2005-now): If you’re looking for the true successor to the original 911, this is it. The little Cayman (essentially a hardtop version of the Boxster) is considered by many to be the finest-handling car on sale in the world right now. Price now: ₹40,97,772. Engine: mid-mounted 3.4 litre flat six, 325bhp. 0-60: 4.8 sec; top: 176 mph.

The future – 918 Spyder: When this beauty was first revealed at the Geneva Motor Show in 2010, petrolhead jaws dropped around the world. Porsche’s first petrol-electric hybrid supercar will take Porsche to a whole new level. 918 planned. Price at launch: ₹5,66,81,520. Engine: mid-mounted 4.6 litre V8, 580 bhp plus two electric motors delivering a total of 795 bhp. 0-60: 2.8 sec; top: 202 mph.

FYI: Hollywood star James Dean died in 1955 driving his new Porsche 550 Spyder.

From the May 2013 issue of FHM India.