RIP Super Skinny Jeans: Hugging Nuts Since 1976
Skinny jeans are retreating back to rock clubs with sticky floors as denim gets baggier. For the sake of your future kids, give your testes room to breathe with some Levi 511s.
It wasn’t just a legendary punk drummer that died when Tommy Ramone passed away in July. The last original member of The Ramones is credited as the man who took the rock heroes from glam leather to their trademark, testicle-suffocating denim ‘look’, and, in turn, brought drainpipes to the masses with his 1976 anthem Blitzkrieg Bop. Since then they’ve been in and out of fashion, but in some macabre coincidence, it looks like the gonads of Great Britain can breathe a collective sigh of relief once again as denim is getting baggy. Well, baggier.
“It’s all about the Levi 511,” predict our fashion experts. “Skinny jeans aren’t about to vanish but they are retreating back to their natural habitat of rock clubs with sticky floors. The mainstream is embracing a roomier fit.”
That’s all good news, not just for men who never really got the skinny look, but also for the future of the nation if a report in Mail Today is to be believed – and we do believe everything we read in the paper. The paper reported that ‘trendy tight denims are causing twisted testicles, bladder weakness, urinary tract infections and even lower sperm counts amongst men’.
So, literally for the sake of your children, make your next pair of denims roomier around your nether regions.
Do it for your future kids: give your testes room to breathe with some Levi 511s.
From the November 2014 issue of FHM India.
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