Show Us Your Pain: FHM At Masters Of Dirt
The madmen who make Akshay Kumar’s stunts look amateur flash us their best battle scars.
Fearless bikers doing double backflips. Snowmobiles hurtling through the air. A one-bollocked Spanish motocross rider beat-boxing to thousands. That’s how we recall the recently concluded Monster Energy Masters of Dirt 2012 held in Vienna. The tenth edition of the annual orgy of ‘OH MY GOD!’ was an adrenaline ride, so we asked some of the riders to show us the scars they’re most proud of…
Who was watching? A lot of schnitzel-munching Austrians who looked like Üter from The Simpsons, and sexy girls. We sat next to one guy who looked really important – like he was the king of the world or something – because he had a BODYGUARD.
The vibe: As a sexy troupe of inked-up Fuel Girls sharpen angle-grinders (which will later come worryingly close to their genitals), Shaolin monk performers sit stony-faced and Rammstein batters its way out of the PA system. Intense.
The after-party: The riders, Fuel Girls and crew headed to some swanky club and took over the DJ booth.
Edgar Torronteras, 31, Barcelona, FMX
The injury I’m most proud of… “At a house-practice in Spain I had quite a spectacular one. I came off mid air and smashed my legs and groin area. I lost a ball in that one, so now, one ball only. But it’s cool. I’ve also broken my tibia, fibula, femur and my collarbone. I have only one ball, but it works perfect.”
Heath Frisby, 26, Idaho, USA, Freestyle Snowmobile
The injury I’m most proud of… “Where do I begin? I’ve broken my leg four times. I broke my hip, my pelvis, my left elbow and seven ribs, and I’ve punctured my lung. I’ve broken my back twice, my jaw once and my collarbone. Being injured sucks, but when mistakes get made, people get hurt. It’s just the way it goes.”
Blake Williams (aka Bilko), 26, Australia, FMX
The injury I’m most proud of… “I’ve had a fair few spectacular ones that haven’t resulted in painful injury, but then a few that have! One time I over-rotated and landed on my legs. I broke all my toes, shattered one bone in my ankle and broke the other one. It doesn’t move left to right now.”
Jose Miralles, 29, Barcelona, FMX
The injury I’m most proud of… “I broke my femur in Spain and had to have seven years of operations. But now I’m back, and stronger than ever!”
Remi Bizouard, 25, France, FMX
The injury I’m most proud of… “I did my tibia and fibula about two years ago during a practice. My bike switched to neutral before the ramp. I knew I wasn’t going to make it, so I jumped off and made a really bad landing on my feet. There was a pretty nasty breaking noise, but not much pain!”
Jostein Stenberg, 35, Norway, Freestyle Snowmobile
The injury I’m most proud of… “My hand. I went to do a backflip on my sled in Germany, but lost the handlebars. I haven’t had it looked at yet. Maybe it’s broken?”
Bienvenido Aguado, 24, Barcelona, Freestyle Mountain Bike
The injury I’m most proud of… “I have a titanium finger in my left hand after coming off when a no-hander went wrong – that needed a lot of surgery. But my other hand is also fucked because of an accident I had when I was a kid! I can extend my fingers like Superman.. Haha!”
Sam Reynolds, 20, Hampshire, Freestyle Mountain Bike
The injury I’m most proud of… “Breaking my tailbone, but I’m not showing you that! It was at one of my first contests in Madrid, and it was being filmed for TV so I had to put on a brave face. I just wanted to weep, though. I broke my collarbone and can pop it out like this. It’s an ice-breaker.”
Alastair ‘The Jackal-Ass’ Sayer, 27, Botswana, FMX
The injury I’m most proud of… “My first jump after coming out of a coma, I dislocated my jaw quite badly and knocked five teeth out. I had a gnarly hemorrhage on my leg. I got a jump wrong and went over the bars at a race in South Africa. It was pretty hardcore, and they had to drain the blood out of it. It was fucking painful. My knuckles are often swollen too.”
Photography: Sam Hiscox.
From the May 2012 issue of FHM India.
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