The World’s Most Exclusive Secret Bars
True, India has some members only clubs. But when it came to the world’s most exclusive bars – we had to keep looking… sigh!
1 Crif Dogs, New York
True, you need to be achingly cool to wander through Manhattan’s East Village anyway. But don’t miss the ’50s kitsch restaurant on St Mark’s Place – either for the bacon-wrapped hotdogs, or the mysterious phone box at the end of the counter. Pick up the receiver and, if you’re lucky/cool/famous enough, the wall at the rear swings open to reveal PDT (Please Don’t Tell) – a tiny cocktail bar so cool it hurts.
Tip: Obey the house rules: no loud talking or chatting people up. Loudly.
2 Corridor Bar, Manchester
Even in the revitalised Northern Quarter on Mancland’s Left Bank, you can find peace – specifically hidden in an old textile warehouse. Stumble down the cobbled alley of Barlows Croft, look for an unmarked door with the world’s tiniest neon sign, and tasty cocktails can be yours until 4am.
Tip: Be vigilant: the bar’s only entry requirement is “if you can find it, you can come in”. (corridorbar.co.uk)
3 Tonic Lounge, Sydney
A normal mate’s house in a Kings Cross terraced street? Don’t let those Aussies fool you. This is only a mate’s house if you’re pally with Lawrence Llewleyn-Bowen: inside is a worn but lush boudoir of red drapes, velvet couches and chaises lounges. Bands play in the living room, while guest DJs do impromptu gigs in the back bedrooms. In short: a professional house party.
Tip: Head to the kitchen for a raspberry and lychee martini, the house speciality. (toniclounge.com.au)
4 Buza, Dubrovnik
Heading to Croatia’s famous walled city this summer? Head for the south wall in the old town and look for a gap bearing the sign “cold drinks”. Inside, teetering 60ft above jagged rocks, is a simple bar of patio chairs, and a straw roof. But order an Ozujsko beer and stick around for one of the most amazing and – should you be lady-laden – romantic sunsets on offer.
Tip: Avoid the fly-ridden toilet. Unless you count ‘dysentery’ as a souvenir.
5 Barts, London
Buried deep in the posh enclave of South Kensington (the address is listed as “somewhere on Sloane Avenue”), Barts is happily free of chinless Hooray Henrys. Instead, find the inconspicuous black door, ring the bell and await your fate: staff peer through a grate to decide “whether there’s room for you”. Inside, a weird Aladdin’s cave of Mickey Mouse wallpaper, cuckoo clocks and bric-a-brac await you – plus a great jukebox and fantstic food wet dreams are made of.
Tip: Can’t find it? Ask the staff at the swanky Chelsea Cloisters hotel nearby – they’ll show you where.
6 Les Templiers, Paris
From the outside, at 35 Rue de Rivoli, it’s one of Paris’ countless licensed PMU betting cafes. Inside? A secretive Royalist bar, with walls covered in photos, paintings and objects, praising the kings of France and their present- day descendants. Sacre bleu!
Tip: Raise a glass to the portraits of the Comte de Paris, the current heir to the throne.
7 Club 33, Disneyland
Yep: plumb in the middle of California’s epicentre of screaming kids and long queues, old Walt built an adult rest-stop. Knock on the green door right next to the Pirates Of The Caribbean ride, then take a glass lift to a boudoir of incredible Disney memorabilia: original movie artwork, animation cells and a table used in Mary Poppins.
Tip: Behave and the extremely limited public membership could be yours.
8 Blind Eye, Prague
Formerly a proper, illegal Czech speakeasy, it’s now legit. Although if you ring the buzzer at 26 Vlkova St and get let in, it may be hard to tell: this is dark and grungily forbidding. Even the house cocktail is a mix of vodka, gin, tequila and white rum. The mixer? Possibly “your blood”.
Tip: Obey the sole house rule: “respect other patrons”. You know, as if you wouldn’t. (blindeye.cz)
9 El Armario, Barcelona
The empty houses of the El Raval area used to be a haven for squatters; now it’s a labyrinth of speakeasies. Head for Carrer de la Riereta, and you may spot El Armario. Although it’s unlikely: entrance involves actually walking through the owner’s wardrobe to get to the bar.
Tip: It rarely opens before 3am (and sometimes not at all).
The Rules
Take a woman – You know how big bars never want to admit you and eight male mates? Take just two other blokes to a bar that only holds 20 and you’ve already made it a sausage party.
No photos – Nobody wants to hang out with the tit who’s so excited he keeps snapping away like a pap at Lindsay Lohan’s bikini wax.
No Fosters tops – You’re in a cool hideout. Try drinking something a bit more interesting.
Don’t spread the word – The point is that they’re secret. Don’t go blabbing to everyone about your find – y’know, like in an international magazine or something.
From the September 2010 issue of FHM India.
Spotted a mistake, or your photo used without permission? Report a correction
in your inbox