Ask Dr Mojo: Your sex questions answered (August 2017)

My girl insists that we shut off the light and do it under the sheets. But, I like watching her naked. How do I get her to loosen up?

— Shailendra, Delhi

Aw! That’s so cute! To me it sounds like your girl is a bit shy. Maybe she is not confident about her body. It’s up to you to make her confident about herself. Tell her that you find her body beautiful and sexy. Be truthful about the fact that you want to watch her in all her glory, when you are engaged in the act. Don’t push her. Let her come around on her own, and believe me, she will.

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My boyfriend likes Public Displays of Affection. Occasionally he gropes me in public too. It’s not that I don’t like him touching me but often it makes me feel very awkward. How do I stop him?

— Kajal, Delhi

It seems to me that your man is a bit territorial about you. He is, most probably subconsciously, trying to mark his territory like animals do. That is because he considers you quite the catch. The best way to stop him is to fix the root of the problem. Try making him feel more comfortable about your relationship. Let him know that you are going nowhere and be frank with him. If he doesn’t listen, it might be a time for a change.

I went through one of your previous issues and read the write up on Bum Sex. My girl and I tried it and she found it painful and uncomfortable. I really want to do it. How can I make it more comfortable so that we can do it again?

— Bhaskar Manaji, Pune

Anal sex is not for everyone but I can give you pointers on how to try it again. First of all lube yourself and her up. Don’t use one of those fancy hot or cold ones. Those are made to drive up the sensations. Go for simple lube and be more than generous with the liquid. Secondly, loosen her up with your fingers first. Start by putting in one finger, then two and finally a third, only if you need to. Now finally ease yourself in, slowly, centimeter by centimeter. When you are in move slowly and remember to touch her special spots. This is not just about pleasing yourself but her too.

I like to get bitten, my hair pulled and pinched really hard. I recently started dating this girl who found my sexual preferences weird and couldn’t get into it. She started laughing while doing it. Since this is my second relationship I have to ask, am I weird? Does anybody else like this stuff?

— Arjun, Gurugram

Oh no, you are definitely not weird and your sexual preference is one shared by many. I know of folks who like doing this stuff around their genital regions. Don’t let your girl’s reaction get you down. She was most probably not expecting you to ask for this. Start a frank conversation with her and tell her how far you want to go with the pain stuff. Let her know bites, spanking and slaps can hurt in a pleasurable way for you. And start wearing collared shirts. In my experience when women get wild, they really get wild.

My friend just came back from the States and got a whole lot of Viagra. She gifted a few of these blue pills to me. I have been thinking about giving my guy one of these pills and trying stuff out with my guy. Is there a reason I shouldn’t?

— Kirti Swarup, Mumbai

Hmm… Girl does your guy cum quick? Or, do you really want a longer sex session? Because, a man on a Viagra pill will have a monster erection and will last really long. And you might not. But if you want to, forgive the pun, elongate your sexual session and try different things. You definitely should give it a try. Although, I should clarify you will still have to arouse him to start things up.

From the August 2017 issue of FHM India.