Do My Girlfriend’s Best Mates Hate me?

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Bring your A game and get your new lady’s pals on side with our tips…

You and your girlfriend have just made it official. You’ve wined her. You’ve dined her. You’ve tried out all your best bedroom moves and… she’s liked them. You’ve even met her dad, and managed to charm your way through lunch without swearing like a pissed-up pirate, talking about his daughter’s ‘sexy butt’ or being chased out of his house at gunpoint. Feels like all the hard work’s done, right? Nuh huh. There’s one more giant hurdle left to overcome. A few of them, actually. They’re the Simon
Cowells of your relationship, the people who–with just a thumbs up or thumbs down–will dictate whether you have a joyous, sex-filled future ahead with your new girlfriend, or if you’re dying a sad, lonely hermit.  The BFF Test is one where your chances of success seem, we’re sorry to say, upsettingly slim. Her best mates know everything about you, even the whole “usually it lasts loads longer than that, honest” thing from the other night. What’s more, she already doesn’t like you. You’re fresh competition. She’s just waiting for you to mess up, say something inappropriate, laugh at the wrong thing or look down her top. And when you do, oh Lordy, are you for the high jump. Scared? Yep, we’re petrified for you too, pal. So, to help you through the most important, life-determining interview of your life, we enlisted the help of three beautiful friends of FHM to give you the advice that’ll help you come out the other end, alive…

Girlfriend

She’s just waiting for you to mess up, say something inappropriate, laugh at the wrong thing or look down her top. And when you do, oh Lordy, are you for the high jump. Scared? Yep, we’re petrified for you too, pal. 

How much does a girl’s bestie know about her boyfriend?

Lana: Absolutely everything. What he likes on his toast, what he likes in bed, penis size…

Jo: …all the bad things too. Bad habits, bad things you do when you’re drunk, farting in bed. There’s no boundaries.

Have you ever shared anything with a best friend that maybe you shouldn’t?

Lana: Er, yes! I once told my best friend about an ex-boyfriend and how he didn’t know where my clitoris was. 

Girlfriend

…all the bad things too. Bad habits, bad things you do when you’re drunk, farting in bed. There’s no boundaries.

Why do guys get the feeling that their girlfriend’s best friend hate them already?

Lana: Girls see their friend’s boyfriends as a threat. Like, they’re going to steal her away from them. So prove you’re good enough.

The worst that can happen? 

Jo: Anything negative towards your girlfriend, like telling her off for being too drunk, or saying, “We’ve got to go home now.” I hate that. You look like a dick. 

Layla: And I’ll bet you she’ll remember that. Anything snappy.

What’s the first thing I should say when I meet her?

Jo: “Do you want some gin?” Just, be nice, polite. Buy her a drink when you meet up, give her a lift home, stuff like that. Oh and always tell her how good her eyebrows look. An eyebrow compliment will please any girl. It’s not pervy, it shows you’re paying attention.

Girlfriend

Anything negative towards your girlfriend, like telling her off for being too drunk, or saying, “We’ve got to go home now.” I hate that. You look like a dick. 

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