Drive Scotfree

Everything that you would like to know about the dreaded Breathalyzer and drunk driving…

By Team FHM · Dec 2012 · 4 min read

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What may help?

While there is no foolproof way to dodge a Breathalyzer, hyperventilating could be one of the ways out to improve the reading by 10%, so if you're just above the consumption limit, hyperventilating can help.

Man Fact: To legally pass the Breathalyzer test after 12 beers in three hours, you need a little over 11 hours to recover.

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These increase your chances of getting caught

Mouth spray: Since most of them are alcohol based, using them right before the test will cease every chance of you fooling the Breathalyzer.

Mouthwash: Some of the labels have 20% alcohol, so it doesn't really help to use mouthwash before the test.

Burping in the Breathalyzer: Your friends would like you to believe that burping into the alcohol testing machine will lessen your chances of getting caught, but that's not true because there is no difference in the gas that comes out of your lungs and that from the stomach.

Holding your breath: When you hold your breath the alcohol in your body dissolves faster with the air that you will exhale, so not breathing doesn't really help.

What won't help you fool the test

Chewing gum.

Sucking coins: Those who believe in it feel that the copper used in the coins will spark a current in your mouth that would not let the Breathalyzer register any rating, but what the fools don't know is that coins are 70% zinc.

Eating your underwear: Someone in Canada actually stuffed his underwear in his mouth because some asshole told him that cotton absorbs alcohol. Though the guy was caught, many people still believe that stuffing their socks or underwear in their mouth would help them.

Permissible limit of alcohol (per 100 ml of blood)

Till 30 mg: No offence

30-60 mg: Six months of imprisonment and/or ₹2,000 fine.

60-150 mg: A year in jail and/or ₹4,000 fine (If the offence is repeated, the offender can be put behind bars for three years and/or will have to pay a fine of ₹8,000)

Above 150 mg: Two years in jail and/or ₹5000 fine (If the offence is repeated, the offender can be put behind bars for four years and/or will have to pay a fine of ₹10,000)

Sit-at-home parties

If you don't want to spend a bomb this New Year's eve, host a party at home:

Things you must be ready with

Peanuts for starters: Aren't these the best (and cheapest) munchies you can have along with drinks.

Ice cubes: They don't cost a bomb, but still you will hardly find anyone having enough ice in stock.

Lemon: For shots and to get rid of that hangover the next day.

Some extra space: Since it's a home party, people might crash at your place, so better be ready for it.

Cheap booze: When you are done with expensive whiskeys and vodkas, cheap booze like Old Monk or Royal Stag really comes handy.

Cheapest cocktails to serve

Frog in a Blender: Just blend some fresh lime with vodka.

Bay Breeze: Add pineapple juice to vodka.

Gin fizz: Blend together gin, fine sugar to taste and lime juice.

Free Cuba: Squeeze half a lemon into a glass, put some rum and top it with any black aerated drink.

Punch: Pour all the left over alcohol in a container, add in a bottle of orange squash, soda, sugar to taste and ice cubes, and you are all set for the trippiest budget drink.

Food to order

Pizza: It's quick, less fussy and gets delivered really fast. And we haven't yet met anyone who hates pizzas.

Biryani: Again, it's a meal in itself, so you don't really need to go through the tiring process of ordering dal, roti and sabji.

Chowmein: The roadside vendors sell it for real cheap and still they taste amazing.

Quick dessert cocktails

Rummy Gulab Jamun: Pour 90 ml of rum on four pieces of gulab jamun an hour ahead of the party, so that the sweet dish soaks in the alcohol completely. Serve it chilled.

Alcoholic lick-lollies: Freeze any ready-to-drink alcoholic beverage of your choice in moulds with ice cream sticks.

Brandy jalebis: Pour 90 ml brandy on half-a-kg of hot jalebis and serve hot.

Vodka melon: Scoop out a small hole in a watermelon, open a bottle of vodka (preferably a flavoured one) and empty out the bottle into the watermelon through the hole. You can even inject vodka through a syringe. Now let the fruit soak in the vodka for a while and serve.

Gin Rasgulla: Take four pieces of rasgullas in a container, squeeze half of its syrup and replace it with gin.

Pina Rasmalai: Mix together pineapple juice, coconut milk and rum and let it chill with some rasmalai. It's ready to be served once out of the chiller.

Baileys Kheer: Cook rice with Baileys Irish Cream and add sugar to it. Enjoy.

Themes to try out

ABC (Anything But Clothes) Party: Try it only if you are in the company of beautiful girls, otherwise just avoid it unless you are confused about your sexuality.

Roll play party: Dress codes can be ah-so-boring, so ask your friends to come dressed like their favourite superhero or Bollywood actor. It will be quite fun.