Feel free and call the shots

Ah... freedom within relationships! It’s a concern as we are all born with and impelled by a need for freedom – a need to make our own decisions and choices. There’s nothing more significant for a man than to know his freedom has not been taken away merely because he says, ‘I do.’

As women, we like to think that we’re open books to men. We like to think that most guys can easily understand and pick the reasons why we might be upset with them, but the reality is that guys really can’t read women at all. It’s true!

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Why men like sports. Why they like to watch sport while having sex. Why they eat like this. Why they'll commit to some women and not others. Why they're so possessed with man food. Why they get grumpy. Why they perve on other women so detectably even if they're sitting next to the hottest woman in the room. Why they don't like to talk about their feelings. Why they don't like it when you talk about your own feelings. The list goes on but the subject is always the same: why are men so complicated to understand? Aaaarrrggghhh!

OK, I know what the men are about to say: "We are uncomplicated and straightforward creatures with just one thing on our mind - freedom. Don't mess with it!"

If you have ever felt bounded in a relationship, it’s time to feel free and call the shots. It’s time to find freedom by setting strong boundaries and by continuing to discover your personal thirst.

Freedom to Travel: I’ve always been a big supporter of solo travel – I sincerely believe that there’s no better way to develop as a person and to truly get to know yourself than by embracing the spirit of adventure and throwing yourself into the unknown. The unknown isn’t a creepy place, quite the contradictory – it’s where you are free to make your own choices and learn to depend on no one but yourself.

Freedom to Dress: It's about a universal truth that when a badly dressed guy gets into a relationship, unexpectedly he starts dressing better. The football jersey and loose-fitted cargo shorts are replaced with fitted jeans and a crisp button-down. And it's no secrecy as to who the designer is behind this makeover. I had so much fun helping my man identifying and transforming his style, without knowing, he was actually more comfortable wearing shorts and oversized T-shirt. Boy, just remember you should always dress for comfort. Wear whatever you want to wear.

Freedom to Party: I’m no expert, but if there’s one thing I’ve discovered from my past relations then it’s this: “love is not about staring at each other but about looking outward together in the same course”. Well scream loud at the top of your lungs, and they’ll think it’s just because you’re young. So get dressed up to get messed up.

Freedom to Dance: You tried your best, you gave it your all, you went for that kick, when you knew you might fall. You never lost hope, you always aimed high, you kept your eyes set on that hint of blue sky. So take a deep breath and jump at the chance. This day is your day and this dance is your dance. Dream big, try your best, and do your happy dance.

Freedom to Eat: I’m not normally one to ban bad foods, but I think your taste buds need a reset. You see, after several days in a row of keeping under control your calories, your body starts to sense it’s in starvation mode and will grip to fat reserves. Your body’s main objective is survival, not to have you looking like a fitness model. When you take one day and eat excess of calories, this signals to your brain that you’re not in fact starving and your body will keep on to burn fat at the rate it was before.

It’s time to find freedom by setting strong boundaries and by continuing to discover your personal thirst.

Well scream loud at the top of your lungs, and they’ll think it’s just because you’re young

From the August 2017 issue of FHM India.