How not to mess up your first sexting, feat. Barbara Desiree

How should a guy start a naughty conversation?

First let me start off by saying this, “Guys, you actually have to know the girl and have some kind of a flirty or sexual past together." If you’re trying to send a Facebook message or are lucky enough to get a girl’s number you don't really know, and trying to hook up, she's probably not gonna answer! A simple ‘Hey, how you doing’ to see if she's even in the mood would be a good start, bringing up a previous hot hookup would be ideal for me, like if my guy texts me saying how hot our date last night was and then if he starts explaining every little detail, I'd say we are off to a great start!

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What is the best time to sex chat?

I think a lot of girls would agree with me when I say late at night, of course! When you are bored in bed after a long day of work and can't quite fall asleep... just make sure your roommates can't hear you!

And when is the right time to stop?

When it gets too hot or you both are tired and decide to say good night. A big no would be to fall asleep midway and then wake up in the morning saying, "Oh, sorry babe. I fell asleep." (Haha). Just make sure you agree with your girl to call the sex-chat quits.

How should a guy know that his girl is not offended?

This is a hard one because it's so easy to have a miscommunication while talking through text or internet! The way people word things many times in texts are often misconstrued. I don't think there's anything anyone can really do about that. If you think you may have offended her, just ask! It's always better to get things out in the open (no pun intended).

How to pick up the right signals from the girl?

Well, as long as she's not replying one word answers like "Yeah", "LOL Yeah" or "OK" every two seconds, you are all good!. You want to be sure she's actually into it. You have to play into each other, lots of dialogue between each other, exchanging pics, and maybe some role play when you guys really get into it!

How to know if she is actually liking the naughty talk?

If you two have been together in the past, think back to the non-virtual sex you have had. Did she talk naughty then? If so, you know she is liking it now for sure!

What to do if she just freaks out?

You started it, so no going back now. I've had guys who were, you know, acquaintances, guys I've met once or twice through a friend, guys I went to high school with who I hadn't seen in a long time, guys I gave zero indication that I was interested in them at all, try and sext with me in the past. I just laughed and sent a “Huh?” text! That usually gets the guys to stop. Honestly, if I freaked out on a guy that tried to sext me, it's because he was a guy I was good friends with or had known for a while, not the guy I was in a relationship with. I think most girls would be happy to get sexy texts from their men!

How to guess if it’s her roommate who is reading all the messages and replying?

Uh, oh! If you know her, you are pretty used to her style of texting by now. If you are getting crazy replies that sound like quotes from a Will Ferrell movie or something crazy that sounds like an exaggerated porn scene, it might be her roommate!

Is sexting during gatherings a good thing? Or doing it alone is the best moment?

Ah! Let’s just say I’ve been guilty of sending a sext or two to a guy when I'm out at a bar or somewhere with friends. You know though, they always end up knowing when they look over and see me typing vastly on my phone with a smile on my face and try and grab my phone!

Is sending pics of private parts a cool thing during sex chats?

I'm not sure if other people agree with me on this one, but I don’t like getting dick-pics. I don't think it's sexy to send me a close up of your balls! (Laughs)That being said, I think it's cute when girls send their boyfriends topless mirror pics in their panties or lying in bed.

Differentiate between talking dirty and being perverted?

Hey, dirty talk is okay! I love when guys are who they are. You should always say and do what you feel. If you stick to that thought and are confident, dirty talk with your girl will go smoothly! Having said that, it also depends on girls. An 'okay' for one might be 'terrible' for another! In my opinion, I would say the only way you can turn dirty talk into something perverse is if you are sending dirty messages to a bunch of different girls online hoping that one would respond.

Name: Barbara Desiree Kovach

Born: United States (Cleveland, Ohio)

Age: 25

Facebook: barbaradesireeofficial

Instagram: @barbarella_desiree

Twitter: @babaruh

From the October 2015 issue of FHM India.