Hows That for God's Own Country? Wife Swapping in Kerala

Peeping Mary recovers from break-up, returns from Kerala horrified over rampant wife swapping.

You shall not commit adultery and you shall not covet your neighbour’s wife are among the 10 commandments and yet what I heard a few days ago takes cheating to a whole new level; or so I thought!

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I want to warn my readers that this column does not intend to judge or cast aspersions on anyone’s character or religion (given my reference to the Old Testament) but seriously, this story takes the cake, the icing and the chocolate chips to go with it.

So here is my story- except that it’s not really mine, I just happen to be the one telling it.

Going beyond my regular comfort zones of Bombay and Delhi, I take you now to Gods Own Country where not just the backwaters are beautiful but the concept of wife swapping comes to life in an equally powerful form.

I am sitting with my girlfriends and we are about a bottle down on the Merlot when we begin swapping stories of our respective good and bad sex lives. It’s always good to gab with the girls because with nothing to prove to each other, it’s always a really honest conversation- no holds barred if you will.

Most of these women are the socialites of this fair city and their stories make you want to cry, laugh and as I increasingly discover enough to make us leap out of our skins. So as the story goes, they are with their husbands at a popular club in Cochin at a New Years Eve party. There’s a hat or bowl or canister (something to put things in) at the door where husbands drop their keys off whilst entering the party. Mind you, this is not a large gathering. It’s only about 10-12 couples at best!

The party of course isn’t interesting with husbands and wives in cliques and not mingling- the way it’s been forever in that small city. But it’s what unfolds after that is the explosive thing - husbands randomly pick up a set of keys that don’t belong to them. The key owners wife has been officially swapped and the night belongs to the new couple! The rules of engagement are clear and have nothing to do with Moses and the commandments. It’s just “Thou shall not speak of this again- to your husband, your neighbour, your friend- No one”!

Here’s the thing about this story- from what I hear and understand, the one thing you don’t do is pee at your neighbors front door- sleep with your friends wife or girlfriend- right? Yet, here are a group of people for whom that one night is free for all, no judging and no discussion.

I don’t want to sound moralistic but shouldn’t there be rules-albeit unwritten about such stuff? While it may be for one night, you don’t forget or worse yet, you remember when you see them next. Even worse is, if the sex was so good you want to carry on- with your friends’ wife? Then what happens? I get that every relationship, marriage or otherwise needs a bit of change, adventure, spice etc but wouldn’t it be better just to find someone else to get it on with, someone you don’t know or perhaps will never see again?

While writing my columns I attempt to do as much research as I can and it turns out the concept isn’t as virginal as I thought. Swingers and Swinging Parties have been around forever! Perhaps I am just surprised it happens in Cochin; so far away from what we all know as the urban progressive life and that truth be told, I haven’t heard of so much in Delhi and Bombay. I’m happy I live amongst the sexually regressive lot!

Hoorah to singlehood!

Yours Truly

Peeping Mary

From the December 2010 issue of FHM India.