Let Kevin Hart woo you a lady

If you’re already concerned you’ll be spending Valentine’s Day alone with a microwave meal for one and a tear-drenched pillow, then fear not. Brilliant comedian-turned-actor Kevin Hart is here to help. “When you’re trying to hit on a lady, it’s great to laugh at yourself a little,” he teaches FHM, ahead of his role as best-man-for-hire in February’s rom-com The Wedding Ringer. “Say what she’s thinking, and be a little self-deprecating. Like, I’ll say, ‘I may be small, but I’ve got a big heart’, y’see? But don’t be too sensitive. Don’t be the guy throwing a coat over a puddle for a girl.” Now to put eight romantic comedy romance clichés to Kev to see if the movies really can teach how to fall in love…

Fill her room with cuddly toys

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“Yeah, I’ve done something in that ball park before. It’s a good one, and I can honestly tell you, girls love that sort of thing.”

Buy matching t-shirts

“Uh huh, I’ve done this too. It’s fun, and you can laugh together which is always a bonus.”

Serenade her

“You can make a serenade manlier if you’re playing the guitar at the same time. As long as you can do that, that’s all good. Man, I wish I had that skill in my repertoire.”

Write a love poem

“A poem? That’s all good. Just don’t get too soppy with it. When you start writing stuff like, ‘You make my bones ache when I think of your booty shake,’ that’s when you know you’ve crossed the line.”

Create a photo collage

“Ha, I’ve done this too! You need to remember it’s a great memory piece. You’re taking her down memory lane, so you shouldn’t get too soppy with it.”

Arrange food to spell out love message

“I’m on the fence with this one. I mean, how long is the message? It’s got to be short and sweet, or the cholesterol will kill her.”

Send love texts through the day

“No, if you do that you’re not romantic, you’re just annoying.”

The Wedding Ringer is in cinemas 20 February

From the March 2015 issue of FHM India.