Lucy Watson: The Big Questions About Sex

Made In Chelsea’s hottest girl Lucy Watson answers our Big Questions About Sex. And she’s not shy about it…

There’s a buzzer, at the side of the table where we’re waiting for Lucy Watson to arrive for lunch that reads, ‘Press For Champagne’. It feels appropriate really, given that the standout star of Made In Chelsea has, over the past 18 months, ridden a wave of champagne-swilling reality TV success in the UK to go from just another girl in West London to a headline-grabbing, paparazzi-hounded, bona fide celebrity in her own right.

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If we were in any doubt as to her star power, that’s put to one side when Lucy wriggles her way into the restaurant through a scrum of paparazzi who, nowadays, follow her every move. Such is the demand for stories about Lucy that this particular ‘scoop’, which runs online later in the day, is entitled ‘Lucy Watson wears tiny leather miniskirt for lunch date in London’. Hardly front page news, but what the public wants, they get, and at the moment they want Lucy.

It’s not just the tabloids that love Lucy, either. Her selfie-heavy Twitter and Instagram accounts are followed by, well, over a million people who, on closer inspection, aren’t just Made In Chelsea super-fans, but boys, girls, men and women of all ages – some admirers of her dress collection, others admirers of the sort of body that can tot up tens of thousands of retweets for a ‘belfie’ (the technical term for a bum selfie. Yes, it’s a thing.)

As Lucy sits down and – predictably enough – orders a flute of champagne, it’s easy to see how she’s racked up so many fans in such a short space of time. Not only is she even more physically perfect in the flesh than she is on screen, but she’s also warm, funny, flirty and – most surprisingly of all – incredibly open. With a lot of female celebrities, the most you’ll get out of them on the subjects of boys or sex is that they ‘like guys with a sense of humour’ or ‘don’t enjoy chat up lines’. Try to get anything saucy and they curl up into a self-protective ball. Not Lucy, who, over a champers-heavy lunch of mac and cheese, lets loose on everything from sex with her Made In Chelsea co-stars to ‘goddess blowjobs’, via boarding-school shenanigans, walks of shame and dressing up as a sexy elf…

Welcome to lunch.

Champagne?

Yes please! I don’t drink wine, so champagne is perfect.

Come on, tell the truth. Made In Chelsea might as well be called Made Up In Chelsea, right?

What do you mean?

The genre is called ‘scripted reality’, right? As in, not very real reality…

No, it’s not scripted. It’s ‘constructed reality’, which is different. We obviously aren’t followed around by cameras every day. So they’ll arrange for us to meet up with a friend who’s on the show, which you would do anyway. But we are restricted in where we can go, as we’re only allowed to go to places that allow the cameras. If the conversation is boring, then they’ll give us a topic and get us to talk about it.

What about the people you’ve hooked up with on the show, like Spencer and Jamie – did you genuinely like them?

I spend a lot more time with the cast than I normally would day-to-day. I see these guys all the time and, even if someone might not aesthetically be your type, you get to know them as a person because you’re with them all the time, and sometimes you become attracted to them.

How is it seeing them virtually every day after you’ve broken up?

It can be excruciating. Normally I’d just cut that person out of my life and not speak to them again. And I knew that I’d have to see Spencer all the time with new girlfriends, and it’s really, really hard. With Jamie, I never had as strong feelings.

Your boyfriends on the show have been mega-posh. Would you ever go out with someone who wasn’t so well-to-do?

Yeah, I would.

Do you have to ‘posh-up’ for the show?

No. I’m just pretty posh.

Have the producers asked you to do anything else in the name of good reality TV? Kiss a girl, perhaps?

I am the most straight girl. I’ve just never thought about a girl in that way, at all.

Not even going to an all-girls boarding school? You know what they say…

Oh, what they say about them is 100% true. We were all randy and there were a lot of lesbians. I never went that way, but a lot of the girls used to try stuff out with each other. We’d go to the squash courts at lunch on a Thursday – my friends and I would take the bus – and we’d all bring the biggest banana we could find. And we’d suck it. That is what I did at school!

Have you always been a bit naughty?

Yes, but mainly because it was more of a rebellious thing. I got my belly button pierced when I was 13. I was running away from home left, right and centre. I knew all the older boys. I was just very out there. I was quite slutty when I was younger, but now I’m not like that. On the slutty scale I’d say I’m now a three out of 10.

Have you ever had a one-night stand?

No, never.

What about the walk of shame?

I’ve done it, but only from my boyfriend’s house.

Do you still have that rebellious streak?

There’s a side to me that comes out when I’m with someone. I enjoy the sexual side of things.

Are girls as dirty as boys?

I think girls are more confident than guys. Guys like to dip their dicks in lots of different vaginas. I have no idea why, and that’s not what girls are like. If they’re with someone, they want to have fun, to experiment. I find that because I’m so confident I do take control, and I do like to enjoy that side of things. I need someone who can keep up.

Could Jamie and Spencer from the show not keep up then?

Spencer was wasted every time we had sex, and I was only actually attracted to Jamie when I was wasted. So with Jamie I don’t even remember any of the times we slept together. We slept together three times and I don’t remember any of it.

That’s not ideal, is it?

How different is the version of you on screen from the real you?

For a start, away from the show, I don’t go out. Ever.

Why?

Mainly because I don’t really like people, but also because I do stupid things when I’m drunk.

Like what?

Like Jamie.

Do you wake up after a night out and have that ‘what-the-f**k-did-I-just-do’ moment?

I never regret anything.

You joined Made In Chelsea in series four. Did you watch it before that?

Initially, no. When it first came out I kind of thought, “What the f**k is going on?”

What were you doing before the show?

I was working as an estate agent for a while, but I always wanted to act. I went to acting school when I was younger but on the first day they gave me homework, and I was like, “F**k this, I’m leaving.” Then Made In Chelsea approached me and I thought, “This is sweet. I get to be on TV and be myself and do whatever I want to do!”

If Made In Chelsea hadn’t come along, would you have still been an agent?

No, I’d still be trying to act.

This is your first ever sexy shoot. How did you find it?

I love this kind of thing. I’m the girl who, when I have a boyfriend, I will dress up as a sexy police officer without them even asking me to. I enjoy being feminine and embracing my femininity.

Is that the sexiest outfit you’ve ever worn?

I think so. My ex boyfriend was a rugby player and he’d go on tour all the time. One time I knew he was coming back and he’d had a really rough time, so I dressed up in a police-woman outfit, with a truncheon and everything, the hat, the skirt that barely covered my bum. I was wearing heels, too. I was lying on his bed on my front with my legs up, and he walked in and just went, “Oh my God.” I love that satisfaction. I like to please. I’ve dressed up as an elf too…

Can an elf outfit ever be sexy?

Yeah, I was, trust me. Especially with the other gift I gave my boyfriend at the time…

Which was?

A book, called The Blowjob Book, and I let him pick three of his choice. I can’t remember exactly what they were, but one involved ice cubes, and one of them was called the goddess blowjob, where you pretend you’re a goddess flicking your hair out. There were so many different types. I know a lot of girls who don’t really like doing it but, if I’m with someone, I want to please them as much as possible.

You’ve posted a lot of sexy selfies. Do you think the selfie has gone too far?

I do. When you look back and show your kids pictures of your life and your memories and they’re all selfies, they’ll be like, “Oh, great life!” But people seem to like them, so I give the people what they want. I’m just trying to help, one selfie at a time.

Your latest offering is the ‘belfie’ – the bum selfie…

Yeah, I did one recently because I was so pissed off. I put up this picture before and people were telling me that I didn’t have an arse, that I was ‘flat as a pancake’… Bitch please! So I was like, “F**k this shit, I’m gonna take a picture of my arse.”

Who do you think should win FHM’s 100 Sexiest this year?

Me!

And if you don’t win?

Jessica Alba. She is hot shit.

What about the other Made In Chelsea girls? Where should Louise be?

Below me. I don’t care where, as long as she’s below me!

From the May 2014 issue of FHM India.