Midlife crises? Here’s How to Reignite Your Sex Life

Bad news- It is not very uncommon to have midlife crises for women in a marriage or relationship. Good news- you can always improve the situation and come out of it successfully. Here is all you need to know in order to save your relationship from the midlife crisis.

Do you see your wife or girlfriend being unhappy with you without any rhyme or reason? Most likely she will respond to you in a cranky way when you ask her for the reason. Sometimes she will not be able to explain to you the rationale behind her crankiness. In such situations, you need not to be overwhelmed and shout back at her. In fact, this is the time when she needs you the most. She needs you to understand her dilemma more than ever. These may be the signs of midlife crises that might be affecting your relationship.

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Researches show that often such circumstances result into infidelity and divorce or a separation. So, if you want to save your marriage, which was doing wonders hitherto, here is what you need to understand for handling the situation.

According to psychologists, most women go through midlife crisis from the age of 40 to 65. This is the time when they feel less passionate for many things including sex. With time, the two hormones responsible for sexual desire- estrogen and testosterone, decrease in both men and women.

In some cases, women feel unfulfilled after five to ten years of marriage. It becomes even more complicated when they reach in middle age. This happens due to various real-life situations, like work related stress, household chores, lack of communication, unhealthy lifestyle etc. These things adversely affect sexual life too.

First of all, you need to spot the signs of midlife crisis that she might be going through at present. Albeit, it is mostly difficult because there is no such diagnosis, but you should never stop trying. The first and foremost condition for this is, you must be accepting the truth and willing to deal with it. You need to know what exactly you should look for to spot the midlife crises.

If you sense the signal that she gives for being out of the marriage more often than not, even on smallest of the issues like not having similar taste for food as yours any more, this indicates that she is dealing with midlife crises in the marriage, however it is just a tip of the iceberg. The hack to handle such conditions is patience. We have often heard that patience is the key.

Number of researches say that midlife crisis occurs in humans, here specifically in women, due to loss of purpose or identity in life, it is one of the reasons so to say. For example, women see themselves not as individuals but as many personalities, identified by different roles. When the role is over, they feel a hollow created in their hearts. A good example to understand it, is ‘empty nest syndrome’. When your wife sees herself majorly as mother for many years in her life, she suddenly feels bewildered and confused when children grow up. This is the time when you sit with her and discuss new goals to be achieved. Make a list of things you would love to do with her now, when she has some free time after discharging one of the most important responsibilities. This will allow her to be more open before you. She will enjoy your attention. Talk about how the leisure time will be spent talking about romantic things on the rooftop or balcony with the sip of coffee or tea. A tight hug and kiss on the forehead will make her melt in your arms.

Sometimes women stop being intimate. They involve themselves too much in the career or their profession even at the cost of their relationship, this is another sign. They try to keep themselves extremely busy just to be distracted from the real issue.

During the midlife crisis, many women feel excessive nostalgic and want to bring back the time when they were single. To keep this feeling alive, they go out a lot with their single or divorced friends. They show that they enjoy being at that happening part, but inside they can clearly feel the vacuum. A lot of men in such situations would think that forcing their women for sex is the solution. They think that they are entitled to have a sex life with them. It is certainly not true. Forcing for anything at this vulnerable situation will make things only worse.

Apart from taking medical advice, there are few things you can do on your own. Motivate her for exercise. Go for herbal therapies together. They are commendable for improving libido. You can ensure that she adds herbs like Red clover, Damiana, Ginseng etc. in her diet. Give her a cup of tea made of Ginseng. These herbs improve sexual desires and also work upon stress and anxiety that often, become reasons for lack of such desires. Use aroma to ignite her erotic feelings. Olfactory has great connection with libido, many researches have proved this. Use aroma candles, Jasmine itra is categorically suggested here. There is something magical about its fragrance which arouses sexual desires.

The to-do list is long but initiate a few steps and see the change. These small hacks can save your relationship from damage and ensure ‘happily ever after’.

From the April-May 2021 issue of FHM India.