Sexpert: Your Questions Answered

How can I tell if my relationship is toxic?

—Rahul Singh, Mumbai

The fact that you have to question your relationship could be somewhat of a red flag. Terming it toxic is however part of a bigger problem. So before you jump to the conclusion, ask yourself these simple questions.

Read FHM India in the digital libraryEvery issue, every shoot, on TCG Media.

Q: Are you truly happy in the presence of your partner or would you rather be by yourself?

Q: Do you sweep arguments under the rug or do you actively sit down to resolve it?

Q: Do you feel like you are never doing enough? Are your attempts constantly criticised?

Q: These are tell all signs that could mean you need to move on right away.

With our busy schedules, I hardly ever have any time to spend with my girlfriend. How can we reach the common ground and keep things interesting?

—Sudip Roy, Kolkata

Work woes make falling into a dry spell inevitable. But once you fall into a dry spell, it is almost impossible to come out of it and being tired makes it all the more difficult to summon up interest. Do not fall into a rut and make sure there is always something exciting for your partner to look forward to. Start small by avoiding bringing work home and constantly checking your phone. Your partner should feel prioritised. A weekend getaway could be all that you need to reignite the lost spark. Use this time together to eventually build consistency into your relationship.

Is using too much lube bad for health?

Sneha Saran, Bengaluru

While there is no health hazard related to using too much lube, it can make sex less pleasurable. Too much lubrication can cause you to lose sensation due to lack of friction.

Is it normal to fantasise about other people while having sex?

—Mihir Kant, Delhi

While it is uncomfortable to think that your girlfriend could be visualising someone else in her head, fantasies are common. Infact they have been proven to enhance your experience in bed, some might even call them healthy. As long as they are not causing a disconnect with your partner that is. It can in some cases became a common occur rence, where your partner prefers fantasy over reality or involve instances from their previous relationships, that is where you draw the line.

How can I confront my partner about wanting to try newer things in bed?

—Mohit Sinha, Goa

You have probably heard it way too many times but when it comes to relationships, communication is key. And the only way to tell your partner what you want is by actually ‘telling’ your partner what you want. It is that simple. However, two things you must remember before approaching such a situation is to always ask and not demand. And secondly, consider their reservations and needs before you unload a host of new things you want to try. Change can always be a little scary.

From the February-March 2018 issue of FHM India.