The Big Question: Is Your Bromance Killing Your Romance?
FHM UK tells you why your man-on-man friendships could be stopping you from getting lucky
Be it a blokey hug down the pub or a consoling shoulder to cry on when your dog has been obliterated by a 18-wheeler truck on the bypass, the men of Britain have never been more comfortable when it comes to acts of bromance. But there is one group of people that are a little less enlightened about the whole thing. People who it seems are not quite as comfy with our new-found hetero man love as we are — and those people are our better halves. A recent report in the Daily Mail found that a shocking one in four women don’t just dislike their partner’s friends — they downright hate them. And a further one in 10 of 2,000 women questioned said their partner’s pals put a direct strain on their relationship. So are your bromantic big nights out and chum-ridden Instagram pictures at risk of putting your relationship with your ladyfriend on the rocks? Here are the eight bromantic traits that are most likely to get your girlfriend’s knickers in the wrong type of twist.
Your Facebook is a bro-zone
Roughly half the selfies on your social media accounts depict you and your bro-husband pulling the same comedy faces (you’re always on the left), in a variety of pubs, clubs, countries and states of intoxication. #brosforlife
Definitely too far: You post a shot of you thumbs-upping right next to your drunken pal’s street-moonie.
You share everything
You got two straws for your £19 medium Pepsi because you know he’s tight for cash this month.
Definitely too far: You made an anonymous bomb threat to the Odeon just to make sure you’d get seats next to each other.
You’re shopping buds
After helping him buy trainers, you assist with the delicate art of trouser shopping. “They’ll totally go with that Topman V-neck tee you bought on Saturday,” you tell him.
Definitely too far: When he was trying them on, you made him bend over to check they fitted properly.
You pay him too many compliments
“My hair’s gone wrong today,” complains your bro-friend as he passes a mirror. “Nah, you look great, man!” you respond, unthinkingly. Er, what was that? You both laugh it off by pretending to go in for a kiss.
Definitely too far: “Hmm, it is a bit off,” you reply, before licking your fingertips and sprucing up his quiff.
You have matching tats
You both really wanted to get this exact tattoo, but you backed down, because that’s what friends do, man. That’s what friends do. Y’know?
Definitely too far: You eventually buckled and went and got the same tattoo, twice as big, with your mate’s name underneath in gothic script.
You play cupid
You introduced your man-wife to his current girlfriend. They both hit it off while commenting on a dancing-dog video you posted on Facebook. It gave you a warm, fuzzy, Sex And The City-ish feeling to see them hook up.
Definitely too far: You immediately took screengrabs to display during your best man speech at their surely inevitable wedding.
You order his drinks
You ordered a drink for him while he was in the loo, after mentally running through his standard booze-ordering thought processes: he’s having pasta, he’s off work tomorrow, he’s watching his weight, so… Becks Light!
Definitely too far: You also order his meal for him (spag bol — his fave), then playfully feed him forkfuls of it when it arrives.
You finish his sentences
Your girlfriend regularly despairs at how joined-at-the-hip you and your bezzie are – and she’s really not into the long-running in-joke catchphrase you both insist on yelling at regular intervals. Wazzzuuuup?
Definitely too far: You recreate The Chuckle Brothers title sequence in the pub. “To me!” “To you!”
When bromance hit the screens
These flicks have been a hit, but not for their bromance bits!
- Pineapple Express: On the surface, the movie offers precisely — roll-’em, blow-’em, blow-’em bromantic comedy.
- Harold & Kumar: This bromance is primarily based on food and fun fueled by drugs.
- Sherlock: The fine bromance in the series, has less to talk about sex and more about love between straight men.
- The Hangover: They are a wolfpack — who ran around Vegas in search of strippers and cocaine.
- Gunday: Imagine two guys falling in love with the same girl and then raising a toast in her name. If not bromance, what is it?
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