What Can Get You Dumped, and in How Many Days
So you thought break-ups are logically executed? If so, then our hunt for the most idiotic man ends with you. However harsh it may sound, your girl doesn't really need a justifiable reason to kick you out of her life. Anything you do can tick her off depending on varying degrees of her patience, so FHM asked 30 girls if they would continue to be with a man who leaves them high and dry or doesn’t change his underwear for a week or eats like a zombie. Here’s what they had to say…
Dumped in: 7 days
It’s no rocket science that men are addicted to video games, and there are have been umpteen cases of breakups and divorces because of PS3s. A study published in Daily Mail revealed that one in ten gamers have turned down sex in order to play Call of Duty, GTA or FIFA. “I get it that you are a video game junkie, but if you choose that over a night of passionate lovemaking, then for all obvious reasons, I’m going break up with you,” Sameeksha Arora, 28, HR Professional makes it clear. Even our Access Girl for the month, Sofia Hayat feels the same.
Dumped in: 5 days
If you think downing a pitcher with your mates is a better way to waste your time than talking mushy-mushy for hours with your girl, it’s all good with us But for her, it might be a reason enough to dump you. “If he thinks talking on the phone for long hours is a waste of time, and actually has the guts to say so to my face, then it clearly means he is not interested in me anymore,” says Shivani Desai, a 26-year old Marketing Professional who got stupid lame excuses, like he is tired and doesn't want to talk as she eats his head, whenever she wanted to talk to her guy
Dumped in: 14 days
We learnt to show-off our cool undie bands thanks to John Abraham. Though, girls think that today they’re only meant for teenyboppers and not for mature guys in a serious relationship. “It’s such a social embarrassment! Low waist denims are still okay, but wearing low waist jeans and flashing your Calvin Klein or FCUK underwear band is not okay at all,” says the 27-year old Dipti Malhotra, a Freelance Photographer. “I mean there are much better ways to show you’ve got money!”
Dumped in: 7 days
“He borrowed money for fuel. Sad! He borrowed money for liquor. Very sad! He borrowed money for clothes. Very, very sad! That was the end of my lovey-dovey relationship,” says Saumya Srivastava, 26, Marketing Professional. Just like her, Radhika Sengupta, a marketing professional too dumped her guy as he always made her pay the bill. “Once in a while, I get it, but the day I paid for his seven JD's, my credit card and I decided to bid adieu to him,” she tells us. A strong point!
Dumped in: 2 days
“Let’s get things straight, my birthday is special and if he doesn’t call me at sharp 12 o’clock then like it or not, it’s over,” says Neha Aguiar, a Chef. Well, for you guys a birthday is just like any other goddammit day, but for her, her mother’s birthday, nephew’s birthday and (even) dog’s birthday are the most special days. And trust us, she’s going to pin you down with the fact that if her long-lost cousin or uncle from the could call her, then what’s your reason not to.”
Dumped in: 27 days
“If your idea of 'dating' is to drive around in a car until you find a place to make out in, then sorry honey, it’s not going to work out. I said the exact same thing to my ex and asked him to fuck off,” says Sumantha Rathore, 29, Writer. An ideal date for any woman starts with watching a movie with a tub of popcorn to a romantic dinner served with good wine and then moves to the bedroom. But if you want to take the action to the bed straight away, then start counting your days.
Dumped in: 2 days
If you think pulling out your tool just before the real action will not give her a baby bump, then you are not just ignorant, but also a potential daddy. Plus, unknowingly you might transfer STD, which is something all girls dread. So roll-up, else your girl might feel the same way as Rohini Nag, 26, Journalist. “If he thinks wearing a condom is restricting his true genius, then we’re happy to say bye-bye. Well, for you it’s just letting it out, but for us it’s 28 days of mental torture and suicidal thoughts!”
Dumped in: 10 days
Women complain that men abuse a lot and that’s what ticks them off. Well, the crude lingo may just prove to be your saving grace. “It’s definitely not chivalrous if you use an abuse in every sentence you talk. No matter how modern she is, there is a level of sophistication you need to maintain, always,” informs Apurva Saxena, 26, PR Professional.
Dumped in: 21 days
The commitment level of a relationship has always been tested and the most common way to do so is by getting inked. If a girls knows you’re the guy, she will go overboard by not only getting your named inked, but by getting a heart and cupid made around it too. “Seriously what’s the big deal in it? If I’m okay with it, then why can’t you do it? It was blasphemy when my ex refused outright to get my name inked. That was the last time I saw his face,” Kritika Gattani,, Merchandiser tells us, who also thinks getting the girl’s face inked is cool too.
Dumped in: 7 days
“We women are too emotional, but we definitely don’t want a crybaby,” says 37-years old, HR professional, Runa Sharma. Even though girls go all out saying they love men who are emotional, in reality they hate them. “Being someone who gets touched by small things is beautiful, but being someone who is familiar with only one emoticon and that is a ‘frown’, is what we find a pain in the ass.” Priya Nair, an accounts executive cites the same reason, “I dated a guy who cried a . Not that I'm insensitive and don't cry, but when Mr Sob Story started choking on his tears each time I cancelled a date, I walked away."
Dumped in: One night
If a girl decides to be wrapped up in white sheets with you, then it’s a very BIG deal for her. But if you can’t make her feel special, then she won’t spend the morning making breakfast for you. “Making love is a very special thing, but for some reason my ex couldn’t make me feel ‘special’, and as silly as it sounds, I dumped him right at that moment,” says Ruchira Kumar, 26, Research Analyst.
Dumped in: 3 days
You guys always want a clean scenario down there, at least you prefer that and the girls happily oblige you with that. So their reason of you not doing the same not only pisses them, but also forces them to walk out of the door. Girls like Ria Sarkar, an Art Expert may just go one step ahead and kick you out. “If he refuses to shave down there because he “likes himself just the way he is’”, then gag him and kick him out I say.”
Dumped in: 2 days
Your girl keeps a tab on you by seeing what status you’ve put on your BBM, or when was the last time you were seen on WhatsApp, or even by checking your newsfeed on FB. And then your friends at the bar suggested you block her, huh? Women, on the other hand don’t think that’s a good suggestion. “I’m your girlfriend, so you better not dare to delete me from FB and BBM, and block me on WhatsApp, else you’re asking for trouble,” says Aman Preet. In fact, for Neharika Sharma, a fashion writer, by deleting or blocking her on social media platforms you are hinting echoes that there is someone else in your life. “My ex told me was sleeping early as he has work tomorrow, but I checked on WhatsApp that he was last seen online at 3am. Questions like ‘is he cheating on me or was he chatting with that bitch’ beckoned me to call off!”
Dumped in: 5-8 hours
The one who said that an excess of anything is bad wasn't a drunken bastard, so while she would like to take every call of yours, at times she is best left alone. “I felt uneasy around him, so the best way to avoid him was by stop taking his calls. I told him I've given up my phone for a more peaceful attempt at life. The fact that my ex was dumb enough to not realise the absurdity of that made it so much easier for me,” laughs Mehak Rampal, 25, Media Professional. We suggest you call her nonstop till she blocks your number once and for all!
Dumped in: 21 days
This reason may sound silly to you, but eating too much ketchup turns off girls big time. In fact, many girls said that the smell of the sauce also grosses them out. Ruchika Batra, Picture Editor, had a similar situation, and finally had to say ta-ta to her guy. “He would drown not only burgers and sandwiches with ketchup, but pour it into ice creams and milk shakes too! It was yuck. P.S. Once I had a nightmare of him dancingto the Ketchup Song.”
Dumped in: 14 days
Girls are crazy for Bieber and all their iPod will play Baby, Baby, Baby, Oh “So what’s wrong in that,” asks 25-years old Dancer, Ipshita Kaul. “If I tolerate your headache inducing trance and rock, then you better love my Bieber songs. Like it or not, I am a true Belieber and dumped my guy for hating JB just because the world thinks he’s got no talent.” Music is an integral part of everyone’s life and if two people cannot share the same taste in music, then call it quits.
Dumped in: 21 days
Studies have showed that 66% of Internet using 18 to 34-year-old men look at online pornography. Watching too much of the naughty action around your Miss can land you in trouble. “I dumped my guy as he used to watch too much porn without caring for the real action! Boy, you may think you are worshipper of a woman's body, but I prefer someone who wears his heart on his sleeve rather than permanently flexing his muscles (you know which muscle),” says Ekta Sharma Bhatnagar, a 30-year old Journalist.
Dumped in: 5 days
This reason is pretty self-explanatory. You have an annoying voice and laugh, and she will happily walk away from you. Something like this happened with 26-year-old Gopika Kumria, “I really didn’t want to go through life trying not to laugh in front of him just to avoid hearing his snort-hiccup-laugh, so I politely shooed him away.”
Dumped in: 1 day
Birthdays, anniversaries, etc. are very special for a girl and she eagerly waits for the love of her life to surprise her with the best gifts and outings on that day. “When my Mr Right took me to McDonald's for my birthday, I knew he was the worst choice. I mean who takes you to a bloody burger joint for your birthday? Break up aside, I literally wanted to BREAK him,” says firmly Ishita Sharma, 27, Media Professional.
Dumped in: 20 days
For Anupriya Jolly, a Journalist, eating too much non-veg was a pretty-darn good reason to dump her man. “It's not the last time that the human race is getting to eat Butter Chicken, so control yourself dude. I told my ex to behave and not act like a pig, but his hands were perpetually messy with food. That was it, I told him to get lost.” Many girls have also mentioned that they got an icky feeling when they kissed their boyfriends after they had chewed and swallowed all kinds of meat.
Dumped in: 20 days
While there are few women who hate the chicken-hogging men around them, there are others that hate their guy being a vegetarian. “You have no idea how big a problem it is,” sighs Prerna Rijhwani, a Sales Professional. “I was seeing this guy who was a vegetarian and going out with him became so inconvenient that I decided to call it quits!” Don’t tell Maneka Gandhi.
Dumped in: 30 days
Be a good boy for a few days without picking up any fights, even when you feel like throwing her out of your car for her annoying attitude. Reason: She’ll find you too naive for her taste. An avid Traveller, Shilpa Thorat said goodbye her man because he didn’t pick up even one fight in a month. "No two people can agree on everything all the time and arguments are bound to happen. It's normal to disagree."
Dumped in: 2 days
Even for a man, it’s embarrassing to have hair at unwanted places, but hold on, it just might get you dumped. Natasha Bajaj, a 28-year-old Marketing Professional got creeped out when she saw hair coming out of her date’s ears. "My friend set me up with this really cute guy and I was psyched to meet him right until I saw a bunch of hair peeping out of his ears. I faked a call and left soon after," she recalls.
Dumped in: 15 days
“Everyone appreciates a man with good hair, but a man obsessed with his hair? Now that's something I had never expected,” says Ishwari Thopte, a fashion communications professional. To take care of your skin and body is a must, but owning three different kinds of shampoos, constantly fretting about the weather and the perfect conditioner will send her signals that you are a sissy. “My ex’s bathroom shelves were decked with countless hair sprays and gels and I had enough of his 'looking in the mirror to fix my hair one last time’,” adds Thopte.
Dumped in: 2 days
Take our challenge and don’t wear perfume after you’ve spent a day out in the sun and she’ll refuse to even hug you. Women love expensive perfumes and always want their man to wear one. “We’re not asking for something really big. I loved how my ex smelled and that’s the first thing that attracted me to him, but when he insisted on not wearing a cologne or deo, even after a one-hour workout, then I told him I smelled trouble,” says Pooja Chandra, 27, Store Manager.
Dumped in: 10 days
Women are always dressed to the nines whenever they’re going out with their guys, so dissing her clothes and cribbing about her shoes not matching her dress will put her off forever. "This guy I dated seemed great until the day he started nitpicking about my clothes. I didn't know whether to be annoyed or concerned about his excessively interfering behaviour, so I told him to leave," Neti Jolly, 27, Fashion Designer tells us.
From the November 2012 issue of FHM India.
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