10 THINGS THAT ARE WAY BETTER IN THE DARK
01. SLEEPING
As lovely as summer is, it can eff off when it comes to getting a good night’s sleep. Birds at dawn? Sun burning your delicate eyes at 5am? Oh how you long for the sweet embrace of darkness…
02. BEING HUNGOVER
“Pop the light on so I can see just how grey my face is,” said no one, ever. Hangovers are best spent in darkness, avoiding loud noises and making the occasional grubby transaction with the Domino’s delivery man.
03. SWIMMING
Baldy REM singer Michael Stipe is so fond of a nocturnal pool dip he penned a song about it. Shrinkage issues aside, there is something pretty special about taking a swim with just the stars as your guide. Shame about the pneumonia, though.
04. HAVING A BONFIRE
In the daytime it’s just a fire, but at night you can contemplate life in the depths of the flames, toast marshmallows and invite all your mates to your garden so their clothes stink of smoke for a week.
In the daytime it’s just a fire, but at night you can contemplate life in the depths of the flames, toast marshmallows and invite all your mates to your garden so their clothes stink of smoke for a week.
05. EATING EVERYTHING
With the pressures of getting a ‘summer body’ long forgotten, winter is about piling on the insulation by knocking off an entire apple pie with every meal. Not only will it save you having to buy a winter coat, but the resulting diabetes will give you something to talk to your gran about.
06. GOING TO A THEME PARK
In summer, you’re paying £40 to queue up all day with a load of kids, but on a crisp autumn night you’re transported to a magical land where it’s OK to drink cans of Red Stripe on the River Rapids, and the haunted house is actually a bit scary.
07. BEING AT A FESTIVAL
During the day you’re Dr Jekyll, waiting patiently for your £6 cider in a straw hat. But when the sun goes down, Mr Hyde comes out to play. Before you know it, you’re standing astride two dodgems and downing a yard of Jägermeister.
During the day you’re Dr Jekyll, waiting patiently for your £6 cider in a straw hat. But when the sun goes down, Mr Hyde comes out to play. Before you know it, you’re standing astride two dodgems and downing a yard of Jägermeister.
08. ANYTHING ILLEGAL
If the Home Alone films have taught us anything, it’s that darkness is the best time to pull off a heist. Feverishly downloading Game Of Thrones as you look over your shoulder feels 10 times more exhilarating when done via the lonely glow of your laptop screen. (Apparently).
09. HAVING SEX
Avoid awkward questions like, “What’s wrong with your face?” and “Why are you putting that there?” by popping the light off during hanky-panky.
10. WATCHING A STORM
Mother Nature knows how to put on a spectacle, so the least you can do is show her a bit of respect by watching awesome storms in all their glory. Plus, we’re never quite sure if the telly will blow up.
Mother Nature knows how to put on a spectacle, so the least you can do is show her a bit of respect by watching awesome storms in all their glory.
