Bring All Your Sex Related Queries Here – March 2023

Question/ Answers –

I am 19 years old, and have been having a lot of wet dreams. Can the wet dreams affect male fertility?

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A common teen sexual health question! Wet dreams are a way for your body to release the old sperm that have been occupied in the glands for quite some time. Teenagers tend to suffer from this phenomenon more than old-age males or females because of the anticipation and buildup. Despite popular belief, wet dreams do not affect male fertility in any shape or form. On the contrary, it is an expression of good sexual health and hormonal balance.

Can I perform certain exercises leading to better sex?

You bet! For starters, a good cardiovascular routine helps build energy and stamina. Strength training and stretching can help you build muscles and improve flexibility so you can get into – and maintain – various sex positions. The best exercise to improve sex is the Kegel squeeze. It’s basically strength training for your pubococcygeus (or PC) muscles, which holds up vagina, anus, uterus, bladder and urethra. The stronger these muscles, the more intense your orgasms. Your first step should be to locate your PC muscles by trying to stop your urine flow when you pee. Hold the squeeze for five seconds, then release. Do 50-150 Kegel squeezes a day to keep those muscles in good shape. Warning: Don’t do Kegels regularly while urinating. This can lead to urinary tract and bladder infections.

Recently, I have been a lot into anal sex. Can anal sex give me hemorrhoids? If that’s the case, then it could be an issue worth addressing.

Not as long as you’re relaxed and enjoying it. Hemorrhoids (painful swollen veins in the anal area) can result from excess pressure around your anus – say, when you’re constipated and straining to go to the bathroom. But when you use a good lubricant and the penetration feels comfortable – not forced – there’s no risk of anal sex causing hemorrhoids. True fact: Some sex researchers believe tush play may actually prevent hemorrhoids. It improves the strength and flexibility of the skin and muscles, so that the anus is better able to respond to pressure, rather than bulging and producing hemorrhoids.

My partner seems to be more in the mood at night time, but I'm more in the mood in the morning. Why might that be and is there anything we can do to get on the same page?

You’re not always going to want sex at the same time as your partner, so your best option is to compromise. Remember that you aren’t always going to be in the mood for sex — oftentimes, you have to get in the mood. Desire is not always spontaneous; you often need to get aroused before you experience sexual desire, so teach your partner how to arouse you and have them do the same.

How do you safely have anal sex if there's feces up there? Do you need to get rid of everything in your bowels (how?) or is the condom bound to end up touching it regardless?

Regular hygiene (e.g., daily showers or baths) keep the anus clean. Having said that, the bum is a passageway (not a storage facility) for feces, so having a shower before anal play and sliding a finger up your bum to clean it out or double check will help to put you at ease. You also want to practice safer sex (condoms, gloves, dental dams and lube!). Hopefully, you're feeling a lot more enlightened about sex now. There's no reason to be embarrassed by whatever question you might still have about sex — knowledge is power. Regardless of how long you've been sexually active or how much you already know, learning more could end up changing your sex life.

I can only have an orgasm when I'm alone. Is there something wrong with me?

No, there's nothing wrong with you. Being unable to have an orgasm during sex could be physical or mental issue. Many women don't orgasm during sex because the clitoris isn't being stimulated. This can be fixed with a change in position or paying extra attention to your clitoris, either through foreplay or manual stimulation during sex. You can also tell your partner what you like or show them what you need to have an orgasm. You could also have something going on mentally. If you're stressed or not connected to your partner for whatever reason, it may impact your ability to have an orgasm. Sometimes, these mental blocks won't allow you to orgasm at all, but it's normal and nothing to be concerned about.

If I enjoy butt play, does that mean I’m gay? Should I be worried, can anything be done about the same?

The male G-spot is right by the prostate gland, and the easiest way to stimulate the prostate gland is by inserting something into the anus. As for the “gay” part: Deriving pleasure from a specific sexual activity doesn’t say anything about your sexual orientation. Our culture often associates anal play with being gay. Being gay is an orientation. It means that you find men attractive. Liking a finger in your butt doesn’t change who you’re attracted to, just the kinds of behaviors you enjoy.

From the March 2023 issue of FHM India.