Call of wrath: four wrathful career options

Some smartass once said “Don’t let anger be your enemy. Put it to good use in your own favour instead.” This must have been the time when these dorky losers met for drinks in the evening and cribbed about everything that was wrong with the world and how everyone around was out to screw their happiness. We, of course, never paid any heed to those goofy tenets, until Hulk happened. Imagine a physics guy in the lab getting so angry that he turns green and transforms into a large humanoid monster, and smoothly into our favourite superhero. If anger does it for him, it must also for us. Here’s how you can take the reins of your rage in your hand and make a career out of it. cjsbjs scj bsjsb scsbj . ump, pump and pump some more. Go crazy in the gym as you think about that maths teacher in school, who you’d secretly decided to shoot in the balls when you grew up. Take it all out on the weights, shattering those muscles and building bulkier ones with eggs and protein shakes. Feel the warmth around your abs, neck and chest as you press on the bench and chisel that body to a perfect shape.

Boxer

Know what to do here? Yes! Balance everything that’s been keeping you up at nights on the top of your head. That ass of an unqualified boss who makes those gut-wrenchingly pathetic jokes that you’re supposed to laugh on in unison with his butt lickers; this beautiful monster sleeping right next to you whose phone still vibrates to her ex’s messages; the honking idiot on the road; the slimy rapist who makes it to the grainy inset of the prime-time news screen; Himesh Reshamiya; basically anything that raises your temperature and gives you a red hue. Hold everything inside and take it out in your punches inside a rink. Give the Raging Bull a brand new face.

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Rugby player

Nothing would be as great as pouncing on someone to vent that temper. Get yourself enrolled in the local rugby team, if there is, otherwise contact Rahul Bose to audition for the national team. 14 men, all as angry you, would be on a lookout to hit, smash and knock the other set of men down on the pretext of taking possession of the ball. No matter how badly you felt about that long anonymous scratch on your new car, the adrenaline rush both up your spirits and calm you down later.

Matador

If you’ve seen unforeseen misfortune come running towards you a little too often, don’t let that anger out in bar brawls. Replace the wretched situation with a bull and don the fancy garb of a bullfighter. As the bull is allowed out of its cabin in the ring and it shakes the ground under its raging hoofs, imagine how you’d want the mess to be crushed with your bare hands. Play for a bit with a red silk kerchief in hands and wham! Get it done with. You’ve earned fame, money and also quenched that boiling wrath inside.

From the December 2015 - January 2016 issue of FHM India.