If only they could talk: monsoon edition
Umbrella – Hey guys. Rain is here and so I am now your best friend, right! But I’m not at all happy with you. You guys only get time for me when the rain god is in his full swing. For the rest of the year, I’m kept in some closet where even the ghosts can find me. Why do you have to do this to me? And if I refuse to open, you have to stretch me to a limit that I feel choked. This is seriously not done!
Raincoat – Oh, think about me, bro! All these human beings have no respect for me either. You can go out with them and chill even during the summers. But I? I am only used by the bikers and cyclists. They wrap themselves up with me and leave me to bear all the pain. And add the splashes of mud coming from the cars. I am done with these, man. I quit!
Flip flops – Talking about mud, huh? You guys have the privilege of rest on the body of people. Think about me! I get wore and torn by the humans and they do not even care about washing me. I am taken out of the racks when things are bad on the road. These guys keep their expensive shoes away from the water and put me to test in fuckin’ bad condition.
Bhajias – Woohoo! All ya bros! Rain is my best friend. Don’t bullshit about him, yo! As soon as my friend starts his business, I am ordered in every house of this country. Be it potatoes, onions or chillies, I am loved by everyone. No complains at all!
Sheet of paper – oh, shit! Now these kids will start making paper boats with me and put me in the water. I just hate this, man. Why do the kids have to make a boat out of me! As if writing on me is not enough for these humans. First they turn my ears and then fold me into halves from the gut. They don’t even know how much it hurts! Who made paper sheets? I wanna go kill that Chinese!
From the July 2017 issue of FHM India.
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