Know Your Rubber: 15 Condoms Tested
Want your chap to glow like radium? Or just want to be super-safe? FHM rips the foil and rolls on the condoms… It’s really important to…
The condoms
- Manforce Bubble Gum Flavoured Condom: A bubble-gum-flavoured rubber for those who like to reminisce about childhood treats while doing the nasty. Rs 194 for 10
- Moods Coffee Condoms: Mornings are incomplete without a strong cup of coffee, but now even those lustful nights will be incomplete without coffee. Rs 25 for three
- Magnum Large Condoms Lubricated: A wider condom for the more jumbo-genitaled gentleman. Say goodbye to blue-penis agony! Rs 1,352 for 10
- Durex Superthin: If you think a condom is nothing more than a barricade, this one is for you. It’s so thin that you wouldn’t even realise that you are wearing something. Rs 10 for 1
- KamaSutra Desire Series – Contoured Condoms: It’s designed for a closer fit, and she would feel closer to you than she ever did. Rs 150 for six
- Cobra (for desi boys): Now how many times have we read that Indian handles are way smaller than those elsewhere? If you take those news reports seriously, buy this one that has been designed keeping our size in mind. Rs 18 for three
- Kohinoor Extra Pleasure Premium: A condom with a specially formulated lubricant to help your lovemaking last longer – something we all want. Rs 20 for 1
- Durex Sensation: Features raised dots to stimulate the lovely lady’s lovely ladyparts. Girls love raised dots. Love them! Rs 10 each
- Durex Pleasuremax: Ribbed and dotted, to give both of you a saucy thrill. Rs 35 for three
- Moods coloured condoms: It’s for one of those people who have an artistic side to them or want to experiment with colours. Pick a colour that suits your mood. Rs 5 for one
- KamaSutra Chill Thrill Pleasure Condoms: Spiced up with menthol, these condoms will intensify your pleasure with a cooling sensation. Rs 10 each
- Durex Jeans: No, it’s not made of denim. It’s customised for people who are obsessed with denim and like to play it cool. Rs 10 each
- Moods Glow In The Dark: Transform your boring old erection into an exciting, lusty lightsaber with this luminous champ. Rs 105 per pack
- Kamasutra Premium Extra Dotted Condoms: The makers of this condom say that it’s electronically tested. Now we don’t know what that means, but its extra studs and lubrication ensure extra pleasure. Rs 10 each
- Moods Ultra Thin: The bestselling baby-stopper is ultra-thin and extra-lubricated. A stone-cold classic. Rs 55 for 12
Durex: With a name that’s a composite of “Durability, reliability and excellence”, British firm Durex was founded in 1915 and now produces one-quarter of the world’s johnnies – that’s a billion a year.
Size matters
Too big? The average length of an erect member in India is 10.1 cms. The world average is 14 cms. Condoms are available in lengths between 15 cms and 25 cms and circumferences of 4.9 to 6.6 cms. New York writer Jonah Falcon is credited with having the world’s longest penis, measuring in at 34 cms.
Too small? A “micropenis” is an actual, proper medical term for an abnormally small penis: 5.8 cms or less when erect. In ancient Greece, small penises were desirable; larger lob-ons were thought to be comical. In 2011, Latin crooner Enrique Iglesias made an onstage claim of having the smallest penis in the world.
Rubber queries
When’s the best moment to slip on a condom? You’d be crazy to put on a condom during the early stages of foreplay, and putting one on just before orgasm isn’t a good idea either: this would mean that in the early stages of intercourse, neither of you would have any protection against STIs. So, the best thing is to put it on just before you enter her.
Should I get my partner involved when I’m putting a condom on? Lots of guys lose their erections when they try to put on a condom, which is down to nerves. However, if your partner is encouraging you as she puts it on you, you’ll almost certainly maintain a good hard-on.
Are novelty condoms less trustworthy than ‘standard’ ones? Yes – you should go for reputable brands that are approved by some regulatory body in the country.
Is there any advantage – either safety-wise or sensation-wise – to using a female condom? Safety-wise, it’s about as efficient as the male condom. However, when you enter your partner, you have to take care to point your penis inside the female condom or you’ll be going au naturel. Sensation-wise, they feel pretty similar, though one minor flipside of such a condom is that it tends to make high noises while you’re thrusting, a bit like a kid’s toy. So be warned.
From the June 2012 issue of FHM India.
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