Lingerie Timeline and FHM's Lingerie Buying Guide

We’ve come a long way from the constricting corsets of the 1500s to the silky delights of Victoria’s Secret. Here’s hosiery’s epic history…

• 1550’s The corset or ‘pair of bodies’ as it was known, is the main item of female underwear. They’re commonly supported with whale and elephant bones.
• 1829 The first front-fastening corsets are created, allowing women to remove corsets without help. Lesbian handmaidens everywhere shed tears.
• 1913 New York socialite Mary-Phelps Jacobs patents the brassiere. 91 years later, her modern day equivalent, Paris Hilton, gives us the sex tape.
• 1935 American bra company Warners introduces four cup sizes: A, B, C and D, whilst British firms continue to use coy terms like medium, junior and table top until the 1950’s.
• 1939 Mayor of New York, Fiorello La Guardia orders the nude dancers at the city’s World’s Fair to cover up. The thong is hastily invented to do the job. Just.
• 1944 British women construct their own underwear during the war. Big granny pants made from parachutes are all the rage.
• 1968 Gossard produce the original Wonderbra and it’s a hit. The world high-fives each other.
• 1968 Feminists protest with ‘bra burnings’ except no bras are actually burnt (they couldn’t get a permit). Bras, garters, false eyelashes and copies of Playboy are put in bins to protest against a beauty pageant.
• 1974 The term ‘going commando’ enters the public’s consciousness. Although ‘upskirts’ doesn’t appear until after the millennium.
• 1990’s Madonna wears a Jean Paul Gaultier cone bra during her Blonde Ambition tour. Men are both aroused and terrified.
• 1992 The Wonderbra becomes a massive hit. Again. With no small thanks to Eva Herzigová and the infamous ‘Hello Boys’ poster campaign.
• 2000 Sisqo releases Thong Song. It’s no Stairway To Heaven, but the video is undeniably amazing.
• 2001 Renée Zellweger makes big granny pants okay again in the fucking awful Bridget Jones movie.
• 2007 Dr. Joanne Morgan invents an entirely strapless bra for big-titted women but shockingly doesn’t win a Nobel Prize.
• 2009 Elena Bodnar invents a bra that can be converted into two gas masks and wins an Ig Nobel Prize (for inventions that make you laugh, then think).

Lingerie buying guide

Know her sizes

If there’s one thing that makes underwear buying a minefield, it’s sizes. Too big and she’ll think you’re saying she’s fat, too small and she’ll think you’re suggesting she lose weight. In short, rifle through her underwear drawer and check her size.

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Choose the right colour

The only thing to really remember here is do not buy bright red (prostitute) or cream (wedding lingerie). Base the rest on the colours your girlfriend usually wears. If, for instance, she’s a fan of a particular shade of pink, try that. Unsure? Go for black, it looks good on everyone.

Buy smart

This isn’t necessarily an exercise in what suits your girlfriend’s body shape, but what she feels comfortable in. Look at the underwear she regularly wears. If it’s thongs, buy a sexy version of that. If she wears proper knickers, opt for that shape. Check whether her bras have padding – if most do, make sure the one you buy does as well.

Don’t play it safe

Lingerie is supposed to be sexy so don’t under any circumstances buy something she can wear every day. If it looks like her normal underwear, you haven’t got the right stuff. But don’t go too far the other way. Buying a corset with a horse tail at the back might be a bit much first time round.

Be brave

It can be embarrassing buying lingerie but the shop assistants are there to help and they know what they’re talking about. Ask their advice, take your time and don’t panic buy. That way, you won’t have to take it back with your disappointed missus in tow.

From the August 2011 issue of FHM India.