Man Up Your Girly Drinks
Love a feminine beverage? Mixologist Andy Pearson turns six drinks for damsels – from Malibu & Coke to the Cosmopolitan and the spritzer – into macho swill.
Are you a man who enjoys a feminine beverage? Do you constantly ask your girlfriend to order two of her chosen tipple at your local bar and then duck under the table every time you need a swig of sweet flowery nectar? Live in shame no longer, friend, as FHM has enlisted the help of expert mixologist Andy Pearson to solve your lady alco-woes. He’s taken some top drinks for damsels and transformed them into macho swill for your boozy pleasure. Glugs away.
1. Malibu & Coke becomes… Malibu & Bloke
How can you man it up? A butch glass instantly beefs up any maiden’s grog. Pour in a shot of Malibu, but only fill the glass half full with Coke. Top up with Guinness and knock it back like a man.
How does it taste? Pleasantly fragrant. Like a large dollop of your girlfriend’s body wash has fallen in a can of Guinness.
Fun fact: The average Malibu and Coke contains 156 calories, the same as one bagel.
2. Lager and lime becomes… A Green Eyed Monster
How can you man it up? Jägerbombs are, like, so last Friday. Drop a shot of lime-flavoured vodka into the eye of the beery storm and down your pint in one go.
How does it taste? It looks like a normal pint, but then you feel the fire in the back of your throat and you know the culprit is that dastardly vodka.
Fun fact: The average cost of a Foster’s lager in India is Rs 120.
3. Sex on the Beach becomes… A Sandy Bonk
How can you man it up? Into an ice-filled pint glass, pour a shot of vodka and a shot of Archers. Then replace the orange juice with an orange Bacardi Breezer.
How does it taste? Like that dodgy punch you made from the leftover spirits from New Year’s Eve 2009.
Fun fact: Sex On The Beach is one of the International Bartenders Association’s official cocktails that was first made in 1973.
4. A Cosmopolitan becomes… A Fruity Gentleman
How can you man it up? A standard Cosmo contains a shot of vodka, and one of Cointreau. Swap the Cointreau for Grand Marnier. Then double up on the shots.
How does it taste? Like the luminous grog guzzled by underage drinkers in TGIF. Strong and wrong.
Fun fact: The Cosmo was guzzled by Carrie and co on Sex And The City. Which makes it more girly than a sit-down wee.
5. Strawberry Margarita becomes… Strawberry Man-garita
How can you man it up? Deconstruct it: down a shot of tequila, Cointreau, lime juice and then munch down a strawberry sprinkled with salt and Tabasco.
How does it taste? Hot, salty and sweet, you can almost feel the hairs busting out of your chest.
Fun fact: Mexican bartender Don Carlos Orozco is said to have created the drink in 1941.
6. A White Wine Spritzer becomes… A White Stein
How can you man it up? First invest in a stein. Then instead of adding soda, finish it off with lemon flavour Bacardi Breezer.
How does it taste? Like a German beer wench has just dunked your head in a vat of crisp, cool white wine.
Fun fact: The term ‘spritzer’ comes from the German ‘spritzen’, which means ‘to squirt’.
From the October 2012 issue of FHM India.
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