Pills, Pills, Pills: Do Vitamins Really Work?
Vitamins, minerals and supplements come in all shapes, sizes and colours. But do they work, what happens if you overdose and what do they taste like when you chew them? Two guinea pigs find out.
Vitamins, minerals and dietary supplements come in all shapes, sizes and colours, and can cost a pretty penny. But do they really work? What happens if you overdose? And – most importantly – what do they taste like when you break the golden ‘do not chew, swallow whole’ rule?
1. Beat the snivels: Vitamin C
Why do I need it? Vit C reduces your time with man-flu by 8 percent.
What happens if you O.D.? Stomach pain, flatulence, the runs.
How does it taste? Supercharged, supersour sherbert.
Vom-rating: 4/10 | Price per unit: Rs 2
2. Shed your gut: Vitamin B12
Why do I need it? Struggling to shift that unwanted weight? B12 metabolises fats and carbohydrates to help torch flab.
What happens if you O.D.? Not a lot.
How does it taste? A bit like ice.
Vom-rating: 1/10 | Price per unit: Rs 2
3. Fight off Parkinson’s: Folic Acid
Why do I need it? Produces dopamine in the brain, which could help stop Parkinson’s.
What happens if you O.D.? Numbness and tingles in the mouth.
How does it taste? Surprisingly tasty.
Vom-rating: 1/10 | Price per unit: Rs 8
4. Mend your joints: Seven Seas Joint Care
Why do I need it? Contains ingredients which rebuild tendons, ligaments and cartilage.
What happens if you O.D.? A lot of pooing.
How does it taste? Off peanut butter.
Vom-rating: 9/10 | Price per unit: Rs 9
5. Live forever: Vitamin K2
Why do I need it? It’s been linked with keeping cancer at bay.
What happens if you O.D.? K2 is fine, just don’t O.D. on K3, as that poisons your blood.
How does it taste? Like old beef stock.
Vom-rating: 3/10 | Price per unit: Rs 30
6. Smarten up: Omega 3 Fish Oil
Why do I need it? Improves brain function and heart health.
What happens if you O.D.? Possibly some bleeding disorders.
How does it taste? Cooked salmon skin with stale water. Vile.
Vom-rating: 10/10 | Price per unit: Rs 10
7. Lose weight fast: Nordic Chili Burn
Why do I need it? It uses chilis and green tea to ramp up your fat-burning metabolism.
What happens if you O.D.? Ulcers and other stomach issues.
How does it taste? Spicy aniseed and mint.
Vom-rating: 7/10 | Price per unit: Rs 30
8. Beat the bloats: Digestherb
Why do I need it? It’s made from artichoke leaf which is brilliant for getting rid of that nasty full-belly feeling.
What happens if you O.D.? Not too much.
How does it taste? Mud. Dirty mud.
Vom-rating: 8/10 | Price per unit: Rs 8
9. Sleep better: Iron and Vitamin C
Why do I need it? Iron helps cure Restless Leg Syndrome, a cause of insomnia.
What happens if you O.D.? Black, bloody poos, blue lips and the possibility of a coma.
How does it taste? Cold, cold blood.
Vom-rating: 6/10 | Price per unit: Rs 8
10. Chill out: Vitamin B6
Why do I need it? Aids serotonin production, which stops depression.
What happens if you O.D.? Can harm your dorsal root ganglion, which controls nerves and sounds funny.
How does it taste? Blue cheese aspirin.
Vom-rating: 7/10 | Price per unit: Rs 7
11. Cure everything: Mega Vita-min
Why do I need it? This pill contains 7,000 times your RDA on some vits.
What happens if you O.D.? It makes you feel FIT and STRONG.
How does it taste? Lemon fish food.
Vom-rating: 9/10 | Price per unit: Rs 9
12. Save your liver: Beetroot Extract
Why do I need it? For rescuing your battered liver from its Christmas partyaddled state.
What happens if you O.D.? Your pee turns red.
How does it taste? Lovely, beetroot cake.
Vom-rating: 2/10 | Price per unit: Rs 6
Thanks to Holland and Barrett for providing lots of vitamins.
From the February 2012 issue of FHM India.
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