Take Her Breath Away

In our post–Fifty Shades world, incorporating toys, props, and gadgets into your sex life is becoming the new norm.

If you’re looking to get a gift for your partner, sex toys are clutch because think about it: What’s the one thing your partner won’t mind more of? Sex with you!

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Now, before you think that your girl will rule you out as some kind of crazy person, then TRUST—it’s totally not a taboo to gift these little bad boys to your girl. I mean, it’s completely natural to masturbate—so why not? Brands are even starting to change the stigma around vibrators because, hi, they are completely normal for you to have, and you can now pick one up at your nearest Target!

You don’t have to wait for any special occasion, either Valentine's Day or her birthday. Neither is there any problem in being entirely unimaginative and get her chocolates and balloons as last minute gifts because you haven’t spared much time on discovering new ways to impress her. But just imagine, you could get her a sexy gift to crank up the passion in your relationship. These gifts are sure to put a smile on her face—and hey, you'll probably have some fun with them, too. In addition, these kinkier toys are definitely capable of improving your sex life and can lengthen foreplay while making the buildup more intense. You can’t really ask for a better (and more fun) way to learn.

Know the RULES

No. no. no. no. no. You cannot buy a vibrator as a "gag gift"...EVER. Because 1) female sexuality is not funny and 2) you're going to make yourself look like an asshole. Neither can you gift the same during work hours. The environment will itself not be conducive for the adventurous surprise.

It all begins and ends with communication. But this one goes without saying. Whether it’s a rabbit vibrator or an anal plug, these things shouldn’t be brought out of the drawer and under the covers without consulting your partner first. ESPECIALLY the first time. Instead, let your partner know and agree to what she is getting before it happens. Make the build-up thrilling! Share visuals to get their imagination going but to also make sure you’re on the same page. Talk about what you want to do, how much you’d like to share the experience with them, and just how much you feel they’ll enjoy it too.

Whether she is using the sex toy on you, you on her, or at the same time, consider not only the pleasure you’ll get from the experience, but also hers as well. Check in during and after to make sure whether she is enjoying the experience. “How is this?”, “Is this good for you?”… a few questions go a long way to making sure you’ll both thoroughly enjoy the experience.

Etiquette of gifting

Everyone has different sensitivities, so we highly recommend using protection when sharing sex toys. Therefore, we recommed you to stay away from lower quality sex toys which are unfortunately made of materials that are porous and attracts infection. Luxury quality vibrators like the Lioness are specially designed to be completely safe for the body.

Now buying a sex toy is a lot like buying any other type of gift. If you naturally want to make sure that they love what you picked then make sure of the right size. Technically speaking, there isn’t really a right or wrong choice when it comes to the size of a given toy, but you should go with what makes the most sense. If you happen to know the recipient prefers something insanely huge, definitely go that route. If you’re really not sure though, it’s better to err on the smaller side. Smaller toys are much less intimidating, especially for someone that’s relatively new to using them. If you’re intimate together, how do they most enjoy being touched? Do they like to be penetrated or all they all about clitoral stimulation? Unless you know for a fact that the person you’re buying for is open to novelty items and kinkier options, it’s best to stick to the basics. Go for a versatile, non-intimidating choice like a vibrating egg or magic bullet. If you really want to pick something different try something soft or luxurious like a feather tickler. Lastly, sex toys come in as many colours and styles as you can possibly imagine, but a good way to narrow down your options is to consider your recipient’s taste in fashion. Is this a person who loves clean classic pieces in neutral tones? Choose a sleek toy in basic black or white. Are they really into bright neon colors, animal prints, or items with a little sparkle to them? There are toys out there designed with their preferences in mind as well. Would they appreciate something discreet they can take absolutely anywhere without worrying about who might see it? There are mini-vibes on the market made to resemble everyday items like lipstick or tubes of mascara.

Wipe out the misconception

The popular belief that vibrators replace boyfriends (the moniker, Battery Operated Boyfriend, comes to mind) or partners in general is a common misconception. The truth is that gifting a vibrator has more to do with the relationship you have with the recipient than it does with the vibrator itself. Don't ever gift a vibrator to someone if you think it might offend or upset them. And if you aren't sure: JUST ASK!

For the couple that is comfortable with their bodies and their sex lives, and open to exploring more and feeling even closer to one another, a sex toy given as a gift (by one to the other, or by the couple to themselves) can be a way of bringing them closer together.

A word of caution, however: if you are giving a sex toy to the one you love, remember that it is a gift for them, not for you. Make sure that you buy the toy bearing in mind their needs and wants, or the needs and wants that you share as a couple, and not just to satisfy your own personal fantasy.

From the October 2020 issue of FHM India.