The Stag Party
Five stag nights for the man about to be married – and the five worst ideas
What do you do when the much anticipated party of the century is right around the corner and you’re burdened with the responsibility of organising it? It would be but natural for everyone but you to be kicked about it. Burrowing a hole and crawling inside is only a last –resort option. So you evade the rodent-esque escapism and now what? The stag , being the morose turd that he is, is no help. You’re basically in this alone and you’ll never hear the end of it if you don’t make it memorable. Here’s how you might just pull it off and actually have fun doing so.
An outdoorsy stag party
Location- The outdoors
Essentials- Beer. Lots and lots of beer
This requires you to stray from the customary ‘girls gone wild’ routine and explore uncharted territories. As long as the groom-to-be is a fan of the outdoors and is willing to sweat it out and engage in some insane testosterone driven outdoor activities this is the perfect way to some serious male-bonding. You could either plan a ski trip to the hills or go camping. You could either hike, kayak, fish or hang out in the woods and attempt some exciting stunts.
The exotically themed stag party
Location: Rent a party room.
Essentials: Booze, erotic dancers, random props
A stag night celebrates the death of one’s bachelordom and can be strangely bittersweet so it’s a good idea to go all out.
Arabian Nights- The party area can be decorated with veils and plush pillows. This is when you bring the ladies in. Make sure to hire a dancing beauty to perform a special belly dance for the stag.
Burlesque- Lower the lighting and use dark colours like black, purple and red. Hire a stripper who can start off highly corseted and shed down to nothing.
Toga Party- Make it Greek themed. Wrap sheets around you into a makeshift toga and make sure you get pleasantly buzzed. Have a Greek goddess work some moves.
Paintballing Stag Party
Location: The Paintball Battlefield
Essentials: All necessary equipment- guns, overalls, CO2 gas, face masks- are provided.
There isn’t a more prospective-bride friendly type of stag party than this. Undoubtedly fun, it clears the hangover and is weatherproof. Leaves you occupied for the major half of the day and last but definitely not the least- it uses guns! This trigger happy activity is a great way to get down in the muck with your friends and to let the animal instinct take over.
The five worst Stag night ideas
A stag do at a Stand-up comedy club is a sure shot way of ruining your last night of freedom. You don’t want to spend money or the last precious moments of bachelordom listening to a 45 year balding man cracking marriage jokes about how much he despises his wife.
Steer clear of tattoo parlours. A few drinks down you might feel the need to assert your complete disregard for sanity by ‘letting loose’. But you’re the one who has to deal with the blotchy dragon tattoo for eternity. Not cool.
Anything too scandalous could be given a miss. Unless it comes fiancée pre- approved, but from previous records the chances of that happening are zilch. So keep it tame and you might not have your head bitten off, after all.
You might want to avoid extreme sports like Sky Diving, Wind Surfing, Base Jumping, etc. The next thing you know you’re plummeting down faster than the speed of light Okay a tad dramatic, but a sprain or broken nose can be equally traumatic for a to-be-groom.
To go sailing with your comrades. The idea of six guys on a boat, playing poker, drinking beer and grilling up grub might sound appealing. Guess what is more appealing? Doing all the things listed above, at home! Sans the blistering Indian sun and sea sickness.
From the May 2011 issue of FHM India.
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