Interview Questions That Freak Us Out
The standard interview questions, what you actually say – and what you are really thinking. Plus six annoying questions HR people have actually asked.
1 Tell us something about yourself.
What you say: A spoken version of our resume.
What you think: Did you not get my resume? Everything you need to know is there. Now don’t ask me how many girlfriends I have and what’s my bank balance or when was the last time I faltered on a credit card payment.
2 Why are you looking for a shift?
What you say: I didn’t want to miss out on an opportunity to work with a reputed company like yours, so the moment I noticed that there’s an opening, I knew my golden chance is here.
What you think: Obviously money. What else? Oh yes, my current office is also far away from my place, and if you give me a job, I’ll save a lot on fuel.
3 Why should I hire you?
What you say: I match the requirements.
What you think: Because my current company doesn’t pay, they don’t have proper parking space, and I have heard that in case of a recession, I’ll be the first one my boss wants to get rid of. Also, I’ll be cheaper to hire, so in your budget, you can hire four people like me.
4 And what about your strengths?
What you say: I approach every project with a lot of positivity, I’m a go-getter, a team player and pressure doesn’t ruffle my feathers.
What you think: How many would you really want to know? You will run out of time if I take you through the list.
5 Where do you see yourself five years from now?
What you say: Raring to go forward with my career goals, learning new things and taking on new responsibilities under your able guidance.
What you think: While I would like to see my cheques getting fatter, considering the number of times the economic downturn is happening, I wouldn’t be surprised if five years from now, I’m once again struggling with yet another recession, and working my ass off to make sure that my bosses don’t chuck me out.
6 List out your weaknesses?
What you say: Mostly, I’m extremely strong headed about deadlines, so I would always put in those extra hours in the office to finish my work, and maybe increase the running cost of your office, and the coffee vending machine. While I do take criticism positively, mistakes hurt me a lot. That’s what I can think of as of now.
What you think: You can ask my girlfriend, she can make a presentation on them. I’m too busy finding out other people’s mistakes, so do you really want me to believe that if I tell you about my weaknesses, you’ll hire me. By the way, I have met your wife at one of the conferences and she is my weakness, so let’s not go there. Next question please.
7 What do you know about the company?
What you say: Yours is a Fortune 500 company with an ever increasing global footprint, and a clientele that any firm would envy. In size and scale, you have grown from 500 crores to a 10,000 crore company in just a decade, which is one of the best success stories I have ever heard. Be it ethics or portability, you people have the best reputation in the industry.
What you think: That you are ready to pay more than others, you let your staff enjoy free meals, and you provide cab facility.
6 annoying questions that HRs actually asked
- @ IBM: How do you weigh an elephant without using a weighing machine?
- @ HP: If Germans were the tallest people in the world, how would you prove it?
- @ Deloitte: Would Mahatma Gandhi have made a good software engineer?
- @ Volkswagen: What would you do if you inherit a pizzeria from your uncle?
- @ E&Y: Does life fascinate you?
- @ Acosta: Just entertain me for five minutes. I’m not going to talk.
From the January 2013 issue of FHM India.
Spotted a mistake, or your photo used without permission? Report a correction
in your inbox