Forgiveness is about you moving on to lead a happy life, not about the cheater.
We all have been in a place in life when there has been one person in your life with whom we’ve imagined a lifetime of happiness but that imagination takes hold when you find out about their infidelity. It changes your perspective on almost everything. You start looking at a former happy relationship with doubts and regrets. It makes you wonder if the effort, time and love you’ve invested in that relationship was even worth it or not? The worst part is the dilemma of whether or not should you forgive the partner who has not been loyal to you.
Would you forgive your partner if they cheat on you?
In this particular phase of life, your emotions force you to hate, scream, punish and never forgive that person and honestly, all these emotions are too much to let go of. However, we all know that ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ and forgiveness, in this case, will not only benefit the one who’s cheating, but you will only be going to make yourself a fool out of it. Anywhere near that situation, the first thing that you should consider before forgiving that person and cutting your losses is the question, will you be able to put in the same efforts, and same emotions with the same person knowing they’ve not been loyal to you? Will you be able to look into their eyes with the same intensity again?
Trusting your partner after they cheat on you is a long and painful process.
While most people assume that ‘cheating’ means the relationship has to end, there is a minority of those who believe that is not the case. As we mentioned above, the process to get over your partner’s disloyalty and let that all go is a difficult and painful path to choose, but people who decide to walk on the path are the ones who are more likely to make a relationship work and make efforts for it, according to psychotherapists. For the person who has been cheated on, it becomes almost impossible to trust their partner again. Even when they decide to walk out of the relationship and enter a new one, the fear of infidelity occurring yet again with a new partner takes place.
Forgiving a cheater will help you to move on from the pain, but it doesn’t mean you have to continue the relationship if you don’t want to.
What does forgiveness mean when your partner cheats on you? While we misinterpret this word in this case, it doesn’t have to be a promise of you forgetting all about the cheating, it doesn’t have to be you getting back to normal just in time or, it doesn’t even have to be you staying in the relationship if you don’t want to. It is not for the person who has cheated, it is for the person who I holding the bitterness for the relationship now, the one who has been cheated on.
Forgiveness is simply a part of the journey towards moving on. It is a way of letting go of all the pain and suffering that a person you loved gave you. It is always better to forgive because it is not about the cheater, it is about you moving on with your life and not about teaching them a lesson. Not letting their negative traits affect your inner peace is the only lesson any cheater needs to learn because we all know, ‘Cheating is not a mistake, it’s a choice’.